


Chokers and Sweatpants

by Poliyanka



Series: Circle Eight [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Baekhyun is a Chanyeol-addicted filthy pervert, Barebacking, Basically every position and place imaginable, Blowjobs, Body Worship, Bottom Byun Baekhyun, Chanyeol is actually hyper-affectionate, Crossdressing So Light It's Fucking Calorie Free, Damaged People Healing Together, Dirty Talk, Fashion Major Baekhyun, Fingering, Foot Fetish, Friends to Lovers, Graphic Descriptions of Awesome Outfits, Idiots in Love, Lil Tidbits Of Daddykink (very little really), Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Med Student Chanyeol, Mirrors, Mutual Pining, People With Varying Degrees of Awfully Artistic Temperament, Pet Names, Possibly Lethal Dad Jokes, Praise Kink, Really Long Foreplay, Rimming, Rocky Start But They Are The Pair Of The Century, Romantic Lovemaking, Roommates, Separating smut tags cuz there's a lot of them, Soulmates, Spanking, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Park Chanyeol, Toys, VERY light bondage, handjobs, loads of kissing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:29:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 34,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28415415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poliyanka/pseuds/Poliyanka
Summary: The first story of a four (possibly five) part series, chronicling the relationship between fashion major Baekhyun and med student Chanyeol, victims of two very different types of damage and trust issues. Basically the story of how they met, got close and healed together.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Circle Eight [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2081169
Comments: 17
Kudos: 33





	1. How they met

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMERS
> 
> 1\. They are HIGHLY out of character. All they have in common with the real thing are their name and appearance (to some degree). If you're looking to read about EXO members in a 1000% authentic, close-to-reality way, this isn't the right fic for you.
> 
> WARNINGS
> 
> 2\. MENTIONS OF PAST TRAUMA. A whole fucking lot of them, so a huge neon red trigger warning here.
> 
> 3\. TW for this story: Child Abuse, Neglectful Parent, Teen Pregnancy, Prostitution, Abusive Relationships, Sexual Assault, Sexual Exploitation of a Minor, Extreme Home Life, Anorexia, Abandonment Issues, Substance Abuse, Self-Harm, Experiences With Homophobia, Death of a Parent, Financial Struggles, Trust Issues

Chapter 1 - How They Met

(August 30th 2017, Sungkyunkwan University, Yongsan-gu, Seoul, South Korea)

_What the hell is your problem?_

As he passes by approximately the seventeenth person staring at him like he's a fucking weirdo today, Park Chanyeol asks himself yet again, why exactly he's going through all this hassle. He could very well be off working somewhere in his hometown and minding his own business, but instead, he dragged his asocial ass on the train this morning and _came to one of the biggest and busiest universities of Seoul_.

_It's the money_ he reminds himself, mentally preparing to an excruciating three minutes of talking with the HR girl new students seem to be flocking in front of to register _You'll be making ten times as much as with any odd job if you graduate here_...

He stands in line before the HR desk, resigned.

In front of him, a group of three freshmen is chatting animatedly about the dorms, the apparently fabulous university gym and then, with their voices a tad bit hushed, the, quote on quote, _super-duper gorgeous ass_ of the petite HR girl at the desk.

_Poor her_...

When they finally sign the seemingly neverending pile of papers the girl handed them and fetch their keys, Chanyeol takes their place, immediately getting a started look from under the girl's razor-sharp bangs.

Yup, he definitely chose the wrong height at birth...

‘Hello’ she gives him a flustered smile, bowing slightly.

He answers with a respectful, much lower bow, assuming she is quite a few years older than him.

‘Good morning’ he greets her with all the appropriate formality, his voice unusually deep and quiet, then introduces himself curtly ‘Park Chanyeol.’

The young woman, Sihyeon, according to the name tag on her powder blue blouse, bites her lower lip with a disheartened almost-whimper, looking particularly unhappily at a large pile of documents. He imagines it must be a real pain in the ass finding one single student among all the Parks, Kims and Lees.

‘Are you only registering as a student or have you signed up for a dorm room as well?’ she inquires politely, eyeing the pile ‘And if so, what year are you?’

‘Freshman’ Chanyeol tells her, trying with all his might not to look intimidating ‘With a room.’

‘I see... Are you local or coming from the country, perhaps?’

‘I came from Tongyeong.’

‘Holy Jesus, thank you so much’ she exclaims, letting out a relieved sigh, then she leans down and starts searching through one of the smallest folders there is.

Barely a minute later, she hands him a few documents

‘Sign these, please.’

He scrapes his signature on each document, not sparing more than a few seconds to look at them one by one. Registration, scholarship confirmation, books, dorm room, and he is done. In exchange for his papers, he receives a heavy set of books, apparently twice the size as any other faculty's, the university's uniform sweatpants, jumper and t-shirt, along with a key reading S-B16.

‘Thank you very much’ the HR girl smiles at him, this time more cheerfully ‘Your room is in the southern building, right across campus, at the far left, over there....’

She glances down at the arranged box of keys on the desk.

‘Seems like your roommate has already arrived. Have a nice day and welcome to our university!’

Chanyeol thanks Sihyeon and bids her a quiet goodbye, then leaves towards the enormous white cube of a building that she pointed to, crossing the vast, sunlit campus with his suitcase's handle in one hand and a cardboard box of his most important belongings in the other. He gets quite the amount of stares on his way there, just as his second youngest sister had predicted before he left for Seoul. _No wonder_ , Jineun had said, _with your height, that awful, unruly mane and even wearing all black... You're going to scare the veritable shit out of everyone_.

_You kinda look like the grim reaper, oppa_ sixteen year-old Jinae added.

He stifles a smile. Oh how he's going to miss the girls...

A surge of homesickness hits him, so he quickly shoves that thought back down into his subconscious, turning his attention outwards instead. Scanning the campus and all its vividly colorful, noisy liveliness, with students scattered all over the grassy field and walking around, basically every other one of them wearing Sungkyunkwan's pine green t-shirt or sweatpants, he once again realizes that yeah, this is his least favorite type of environment.

As he reaches said southern dormitory building and goes up the stairs to find his room, his mind turns towards his mystery roommate. _How is he gonna be_ , Chanyeol wonders, suddenly very much and very uncomfortably aware of how hard it usually is for him to get along with strangers.

Along with the notification that he's been accepted to Sungkyunkwan, he already received a three-page document regarding his dorm placement, including but not limited to which faculty building will he frequent the most, how is he planning to have his meals and if he would like a specific person as a roommate. Obviously, he had replied with a no and as for the nearly fifteen lines long space where he could describe the kind of roommate he is and what sort of person he would like to live with, he left that completely empty.

As he passes two blue and purple-haired guys respectively, who are carrying a nearly human-sized stereo on top of which sits a blonde, inflatable doll, he wonders if maybe he should have written something there.

_Whatever_ he shrugs inwardly _Worst case scenario, we will just avoid each other._

And the mass majority of people aren't purple-haired blow-up doll owners anyway, right?

Chanyeol sure as hell hopes they aren't.

He arrives on the second floor of the, as it turns out, U-shaped dorm building, he notices that the rooms dubbed B are here. He looks around, scanning the doors until he spots room B16 at the far end of the U. When he reaches the door, he fishes his newly-received key out of his back pocket and opens up, completely convinced he is ready for whoever is inside.

He couldn't be any more wrong.

The bed closer to the door is empty with only fresh, white covers on it and so are the closet and bedside table next to it, but the other one across the room, under the large window, is covered in the biggest, most colorful mess Chanyeol has ever seen.

There is not only an open suitcase next to the bed with clothes, shoes, sketchbooks and bathroom items scattered all over it, the bed is also covered in a tornado of clothing, papers and what looks like fabrics of a hundred different colors and textures. On the small, foldable table under the window, there is already a sewing machine and an open box of sewing equipment, a chest of some kind and underneath it a cardboard box full of art supplies literally pouring out onto the floor. That half of the room is practically ruled by an utter chaos of clothes, comic books, drawings and random objects like a male mannequin, a baby pink wig, cat ear headphones, a gigantic, steel-blue piggy bank and _deep purple, glittery kinky boots._

_Did I come to the girls' building by accident?_ is the first thing that comes to his mind.

This question however is immediately answered as he hears muffled but unapologetically loud singing from behind one of the doors to his right which he presumes leads to the kitchen they will be sharing with another room of two. It's some upbeat pop song he doesn't even try to recognize, sung by a voice that's high and whiny, but definitely belongs to a guy.

_What the hell...?_

Chanyeol doesn't have time to mentally finish, because at the very next moment, said door suddenly swings open, his roommate bursts in and he is hit by the realization that _damn, he had grossly underestimated whoever the heck this is._

The guy who stops in front of him is easily half his size, not even one-sixty and very, _very_ skinny, with scrawny arms and legs, collarbones that could cut glass and hipbones protruding from under his jeans. He is clad in what's undoubtedly the most unique outfit on the entire campus, namely a pair of holographic silver, purple-and-green-laced boots, mismatched socks with one being much longer than the other, both black-and white, a pair of the shortest and tightest black jean shorts Chanyeol has ever seen on a guy, a dark purple _crop top_ revealing a pale, concave stomach and even a black beret on top of a nest of soft, wavy maroon hair. His small, round nails are _painted black_ and he is wearing a whole array of confusing jewellery, like a black leather choker, an intricate garter of the same material on top of his crop top and an entire armada of silver rings on small, bony hands.

‘ _Boy, I'm aching, make it right, my temperature is suuuper... oh_ ’ the maroon-haired alien stops dead in his tracks as he notices Chanyeol.

_He is wearing makeup. This guy is wearing makeup._

For a split second, the boy looks dumbfounded, but this gives way to something else immediately as he spots the suitcase.

‘Hey there, roomie!’ he exclaims, glossy, purplish lips forming a huge, blindingly bright smile.

He goes over to Chanyeol, shaking his not even outstretched hand.

‘Great to meet you, handsome stranger’ he chirps, his eyes almost literally throwing little pink anime hearts at Chanyeol ‘Byun Baekhyun at your service, I'm your resident fashion twink and roommate of the century, just saying. We're going to get along _fabulously...’_

He takes Chanyeol's box and dumps it on the empty bed, then turns back to him, continuing.

‘What'd you write on the dorm paper that gave you me? Y'know, I wrote nothing’ Baekhyun explains, placing his dumbfounded roommate's suitcase on his bed ‘I love meeting new people, so I didn't want to know at all who they'll put me together with. Seems like it was a smart decision, I already love you lots~ So, who might you be, mysterious, sexy gentleman?’

Chanyeol just blinks, utterly stunned.

***

_Oopsie-daisy... Maybe I overdid it a little bit?_

Baekhyun sizes his new roommate up as he is seemingly trying to answer his question and digest the fact that he just called him "mysterious, sexy gentleman".

The guy reminds him of a gigantic, sleepy Bernese Shepherd. Standing very-very tall, surely above one ninety, his shoulders and chest broad and strong, Baekhyun is sure he intimidates a lot of people, _but not this sassy power bottom._ With unruly, dark chocolate hair that almost covers his large, unreadable almond eyes, a handsome face, uncharacteristically soft and pretty lips and great proportions hidden under a baggy, black tee and matching sweatpants, he gives off a reserved impression. Not hostile though, rather the "cute reserved", shy type... or maybe he just hates people.

_Well, I do certainly hope not..._

The new roommate however suddenly speaks up, stretching one svelte arm out for a handshake.

‘Park Chanyeol’ he introduces himself, his voice deep and somehow simultaneously rough and soft.

Following a brief, unenthusiastic pause, he adds.

‘Nice to meet you.’

Baekhyun shakes his large, angular hand and gives him a big ol' Baekhyun-smile, all sparkly joy and friendliness.

‘Likewise. You're really good-looking’ he tells him nonchalantly then, as he notices how many books this Chanyeol is carrying, raises an eyebrow ‘Wow, dude, that's a lot of reading... are you studying Law?’

Chanyeol shakes his head, placing the books on his bedside table.

‘No, Medicine. And you?’

‘Me too’ the small, skinny boy nods, then laughs and shakes his head ‘Nah, not today. Or in this lifetime for that matter.’

He gestures towards his stuff and answers his roommate.

‘I'm with the Faculty of Art and Design, the fashion people. The closest I'll ever get to being a doctor is being able to give you oxycodone if you need it... just kidding. But hey, med school is awesome, I already respect you more than myself. Are you from Seoul? I heard that actually a lot of dorm guys are...’

The tall, all-black guy shakes his head again.

‘I come from Tongyeong.’

‘Sweet’ Baekhyun tells him, looking through his books in the meantime ‘A country guy. That's much cooler than ugly old Daegu where I lived... wow, this looks like seriously advanced stuff... Do you know a lot of people here?’

‘No’ Chanyeol replies, still standing on that same spot beside his bed ‘You?’

The skinny boy nods, taking a sip from the pink can of some disgustingly sugary energy drink on his bedside table.

‘Yeah, kind of a lot, but not from here’ he replies, wondering whether to say it or not ‘I mean on campus... I rather used to come here to party.’

_Don't even hope to avoid this_ he tells himself, sighing inwardly _The "talk" always has to happen, you know this already..._

Deciding he would rather rip off the band-aid now instead of a long, awkward conversation following a chain of misunderstandings maybe next week, Baekhyun hops on his bed and stretches his legs, trying to appear calmer than he feels.

‘About parties’ he babbles on, as always when he feels nervous ‘I kinda found that with roommates, just letting things happen and testing the waters doesn't really work, so let me just ask a few questions real quick.’

Chanyeol just nods and opens the cardboard box on his bed, starting to unpack.

‘First things first, on a scale of one to ten, how neat do you consider yourself to be? One is when you turn basically any living environment into a pigpen in seconds and ten is high key OCD, the classic "don't move my fucking pens, they are sorted in terms of length and color" type...’

His quiet new roommate thinks for a second, then replies:

‘About a nine.’

_Wow, that's actually kinda surprising..._

‘Welp, that's unfortunate’ Baekhyun giggles, then springs up from his bed like a rabbit on ecstasy, only to fish an enormous roll of yellow duct tape out of his art supply box ‘Luckily, I have this.’

And with that, he kneels and sticks a straight line of duct tape on the floor between their beds, cutting the room in half.

‘That's better’ he nods, standing up to examine his masterpiece.

He clicks his tongue. _That'll do._

‘Okay’ he chants as he turns back to Chanyeol, smiling again ‘Let's say that this is my half of the room and that's yours. I'll keep my mess in mine and won't touch yours, because well... I'm pretty much incapable of not being an _incorrigible_ level one. Aaand, next... again, on a scale of one to ten, how much loud music, me singing and dancing or bringing people over would bother you?’

‘One. Or zero.’

‘Dope~ How about me being kinda naked or... scantily clad sometimes? It's very un-fashion-major-ish, I know, but I kinda just dislike wearing clothes.’

‘Zero.’

‘Great, I already love you... Any sensitivity about people touching your stuff?’

‘Kind of...’

'Kay, noted that... annnd, last question.’

Baekhyun cracks his hands, fidgeting nervously.

‘On our aforementioned imaginary scale’ he begins, his voice high and chirpy, even compared to the usual ‘How homophobic do you consider yourself to be?’

‘Zero’ Chanyeol replies, shrugging.

What warms Baekhyun's heart however is the expression that comes with this. His face, this handsome face with his raised brows and slight frown is downright asking him _why on Earth would I have a problem with that?_

‘Magnificent’ the small fashion major announces, unable to stifle the stupidly goofy grin that overcomes his features ‘Because I'm _highly_ and possibly contagiously gay and that doesn't seem to want to change anytime soon.’

Chanyeol just shrugs his shoulders again.

‘Okay’ he tells Baekhyun, still quiet and laid-back ‘No problem.’

‘Well, that's just magical’ his roommate exclaims, unable to hide his happiness, but somehow he doesn't really care all that much either ‘Also, I know I just said last question and you probs think I'm a freaking weirdo, but let me ask you: how okay are you with random, possibly intrusive but always truly strange questions?’

‘Go on, whenever you want to.’

‘Yay, you're awesome! First maybe weird question then... Are you by chance into modeling?’

Chanyeol's eyes widen slightly and he raises his eyebrows, looking nonplussed.

‘No’ he shakes his head, putting aside a small pile of t-shirts he just finished folding. Baekhyun notices how they are all sorted by color and sleeve length. He can't help but smile.

‘That's a pity’ he tells his mystery roommate ‘You have the height and looks for it, high fashion brands murder their competitors for guys like you.’

The med student averts his eyes, seemingly unsure of what to say. He starts folding his pants, but after a few long moments of silence, he looks back at him and speaks up.

‘Are you a model?’ he inquires, seeming genuinely interested.

The fashion major already noticed how this Chanyeol guy always looks at him when he's speaking and gives him his undivided attention, a trait he is actually quite fond of.

‘With this height?’ he laughs, stretching his legs ‘In my dreams, maybe. Korean fashion isn't the most diverse of all, they only go for unnaturally tall and toned sex gods like you... But I like the designing part better anyways.’

Maybe it's just Baekhyun's eyes, but for a split second, it looks as if his roommate's cheeks flush a timid, light pink at the word "sex god". Present or not, the blush is gone in a second and Chanyeol asks again, gesturing at the array of sketchbooks scattered all around the fashion student's territory.

‘Are those all designs?’

‘Mainly, yeah’ Baekhyun nods, leaning to look for the one he's currently filling up ‘I do draw and paint actual pictures sometimes, but most of it is just outfits and jewelry... God, I can't wait to have access to all the material they have here, I heard there's _insane_ variety.’

Having found the one he was looking for, he hands it to Chanyeol.

‘There, take a look.’

The med student opens the sketchbook and looks through it, flipping the pages with utmost care, paying attention not to rip the paper and examining every drawing carefully. His face doesn't show much, if anything, his expression is rather pensive. When he's done, he hands it back to Baekhyun, impressed.

‘These are really good’ he tells him and the skinny boy could _swear_ he is almost smiling ‘I don't know anything about fashion design, but yours are very unique and beautiful.’

Baekhyun's narrow, fragile chest swells with pride.

‘Thanks a lot’ he beams at his roommate ‘You're super nice.’

For a while, they just busy themselves with organizing their stuff and chatting. Okay, maybe it would be more accurate to say Chanyeol is organizing his things and listening to Baekhyun while he is blabbering and actively making an even bigger mess around himself, but hey... to each their own.

Then suddenly, someone drops something heavy on the floor of their bathroom, making them both fall silent and look up. Baekhyun wonders for a second if it came from outside, but at the next moment, the bathroom door opens and a stranger with a gorgeous, ashy blonde hairdo greets them.

'Hey, Kyungsoo-yah, our roommates are here!'

***

Six hours, forty-seven minutes a lunch and a walk on campus later, Chanyeol isn't all that convinced about the university being a horrible place anymore. He already knows five people on campus... okay, six, if you include one half of the blow up doll duo, a Thai guy named Blue Suradej Chualalongkorn, introduced to him by Baekhyun, obviously.

Also, as it turns out, the skinny, chatterbox fashion student isn't his only roommate. The bathroom and small kitchen they discovered earlier belongs to them and another room of two, a solution by Sungkyunkwan Uni for all the complaints about common showers in the campus' early days. According to the university's website, male dorms are made up of these blocks of two-rooms-a-kitchen-and-a-bathroom, while over at the girls', every room gets these individually.

Their two kitchen-and-bathroom-mates arrived approximately two hours after Baekhyun and him, seemingly having succeeded in getting along just as quickly as them. Short, stocky, somewhat bearlike Kyungsoo proved to be the less intimidating one, the Psychology major was laid-back, polite, but genuinely nice and open to conversation... although social butterfly Baekhyun certainly did help the process run more smoothly.

His roommate, fashionable dancer Jongin... well, Chanyeol isn't so sure about him. Despite there being a sort of insecurity about his gestures and how he checks his reflection of just about anything every few seconds, he did come across as somewhat condescending... and he stared at the med student a lot. Very openly. To put it mildly, Chanyeol isn't really fond of people staring at him. And the fact that this Jongin likes to have everyone's attention doesn't really help either. It's one of those behaviors that just rub him the wrong way, he can't really explain why.

Baekhyun however, true to being a self-proclaimed friend magnet, got along with both of them in an instant. Barely fifteen minutes into their conversation, he proceeded to dub Jongin "fashion king", also gay Kyungsoo "sexy, mighty daddy material" and invite them to lunch. When the latter told him his two best friends are also staying in the building, instead of a full-blown asocial panic attack, he told him to bring those two along.

Chanyeol wondered a lot how he does that.

So off they went to pick up the psych major's two friends and try the food stalls on campus, because, as Baekhyun so gracefully put it, he's "broke as a lazy hooker", so he wants to "explore his only viable options aside from Seven Eleven".

After Jongin, Chanyeol was already feeling like he's had enough of people for today, but to his great relief, Kyungsoo's friends, namely Jongdae and Minseok proved to be a lot more likeable than the dance major _and the silk shirt he had left open nearly down to his navel. Euh._

Surprisingly, Minseok introduced himself as a dance major too, but he couldn't have given off a more different first impression than Jongin. Wearing sweaty gym clothes and the single laziest hairdo Chanyeol has seen on campus aside from his own, short but sporty Kim Minseok was just as open as Baekhyun, although a lot more straightforward and dirty-mouthed. He inhaled nearly four bowls of food like a sumo wrestler, joked around with everyone and told Jongin "yo, man, easy on the calorie counting, you're killing my fucking mood to eat". _Definitely a nice guy._

Jongdae on the other hand seemed awfully shy and uncomfortable around strangers, even more so than the quiet med student himself. He was constantly chewing his lower lip and twisting the soft, wavy locks of his messy puppy hair and whenever someone asked him a question or gave him a compliment, the wealthy-looking Literature major answered with a slight stutter, all the while averting his eyes and blushing furiously. When Baekhyun told him he loves his clothes, all pastel-colored and very obviously designed to hide his skinny, fragile body, he was so embarrassed he couldn't even utter a word. The only person he could talk normally to seemed to be Minseok, though he was awfully quiet and demure with him as well.

Aside from this small sign of dependence, Chanyeol felt a sort of fondness towards Jongdae, finding his anxiety _highly_ relatable. Also, with his awkward looks and passion for writing, he reminded the med student of his youngest sister, twelve-year-old Jinri, admittedly the most similar to him out of the three girls.

The six guys had lunch, walked around campus a bit then out in the neighboring streets as well, getting to know the area. They talked, joked around, bickered a bit and laughed a lot. At first, Chanyeol felt tense and uncomfortable with so much interaction, but after a while he loosened up, mainly thanks to Baekhyun and the unicorns-sunshine-and-hairdye energy he seems to emanate 24/7.

By seven thirty, Jongdae got tired so him, Minseok and Kyungsoo left for their room and Jongin also went off to meet a friend. Chanyeol accompanied Baekhyun to the nearby convenience store then they went back to the room.

Only when he showered and finished unpacking does the med student realize he had so much fun he forgot to call his family.

Feeling so nice he almost doesn't even think of them, that's definitely something he didn't expect.

***

Sitting on his bed and sketching lazily, Baekhyun looks out to the balcony, where Chanyeol is talking to someone on the phone. He is facing the Faculty of Medicine opposite them, but at one point, the fashion major would bet his _damn expensive_ mannequin he catches him smiling.

_Is it his girlfriend?_ he wonders and a swallows a grin, but then remembers that Chanyeol is single, or at least he said he is when Minseok asked earlier.

For some reason, when it comes to his new roommate he just can't help smiling. Even though they've known each other for only a whopping ten or something hours, he feels so drawn to him and all that quiet, attentive Bernese Shepherd-ness, he can't even really explain why.

_Yeah, I won the roommate lottery, it seems._

Baekhyun stretches contentedly on his bed, dropping his sketchbook on the floor. He looks around the room and laughs, endlessly entertained by the contrast between the unhinged but rather comfortable mess surrounding him and the pristine order on Chanyeol's side. Geez, that guy even has his bathroom products lined up on the shelf above his bed and the fashion student could swear the distance between them is perfectly equal... that's just _hilarious_.

He chuckles again and rolls off his bed to find his makeup bag somewhere under the twenty layers of fabric on the floor. He does, way quicker than he initially thought but when he opens it to fetch his wipes, a lipstick drops on his knees... an irritatingly sharp red one that isn't his.

_Shit, it's hers..._

He swallows, suddenly dizzy. The room spins around and memories hit him, tying his stomach in a nauseating knot.

_No. No. I came here to forget her. I'll never go back there._

So he leaps up from the floor and walks out to the balcony. Without thinking or watching where it goes, he throws the lipstick away as far as he can muster. Then, he goes back to the room and quickly puts on his favorite Avril playlist, draping a half-completed t-shirt around his mannequin.

It's unclear to him why, but a mere look at Chanyeol's broad back and another at his neatly organized bathroom stuff makes him feel at ease in an instant.


	2. How they "officially" became friends

(November 9th 2017, Sungkyunkwan Uni)

'Hey, handsome, are you done yet? I sure as heck am~'

Just as Chanyeol starts wondering if the candy aisle has eaten Baekhyun alive, he hears his roommate's happy voice behind his back. He turns around with his hand full of dairy, only to see the fashion major standing beside him, face glowing with immense pride at the fruit of his Saturday night grocery shopping spree... ten packets of fruit Jellos, nearly a crate of energy drinks with flavors so unpalatable the med student feels his stomach churn just looking at them and of course, the piece-de-résistance: cups and cups of disgusting instant noodles.

_Meet the supposed adult who eats like an extremely spoiled five year-old_...

Chanyeol sizes his own basket of healthy food up and stifles a chuckle, but he supposes he still smiles a little, because his roommate shoots him a mock-dirty look.

'Oh shut up, Mr. Future Doctor' he grunts, giving his tall, reserved companion a _very_ offended fake pout 'I'm aware of the health risks I'm facing, thank you very much... skinny legends like me don't get diabetes'

Chanyeol shrugs, that amused half-smile lingering in the corners of his mouth.

'I didn't say anything...'

As they leave towards the checkout and that cute, chubby cashier lady who already knows them as "Instant Noodle Boy and his silent friend", Baekhyun cheerfully rambles on about a handsome guy he saw earlier today on campus while Chanyeol just listens to him, smiling sometimes. 

During those two and a half months they have known each other, this is kind of how things have always been.

To his genuine surprise however, the med student instantly caught himself liking this glittery little bomb of social energy _a lot_. He hasn't yet found a plausible explanation as to why he feels this way, but Chanyeol had to admit he's just drawn to his roommate and everything that comes with the Byun Baekhyun package deal. All the seemingly ceaseless talking, this incessant outpour of energy, the singing, the dirty jokes, the mess in their room and the maroon hairdye staining the bathroom sink, all of it... even the short, skinny boy's _violently_ unpredictable and quirky personality.

The only thing he hasn't been able to process so far is the fact that Baekhyun appears to be equally fond of him. 

'...and God, those huge, strong hands with the veins protruding under his skin... I think I'd come in my pants only from like shaking those hands..."

Chanyeol feels the urge to laugh again as the fashion major dreamily babbles on about that guy he saw, but just when he would let out a little chuckle, the man before them turns around, letting go of his girlfriend's hand. The woman instinctively tightens her hug around her baby daughter, sensing confrontation.

'No offense, mate' he begins, his mouth twisting with disgust, hands angrily gripping his military jacket 'but will you please shut the fuck up? I don't want my daughter to have to listen to this crap'

Then he adds, with the fraction of a condescending, smug little smile.

'I mean if you quit talking, you could maybe pass as an underfed, weird girl, but this way... I'd rather not explain to her what a degenerated fag is, she is only five months old'

Baekhyun falls silent and his roommate can already feel his blood pressure spiking. Suddenly overcame by an urge to punch this guy in the face, Chanyeol's whole torso stiffens, but he doesn't utter a word.

'I understand you, sir, excuse me' the fashion student chirps with a huge smile plastered on his face, looking bright as the summer sun 'A bit of makeup and a little joke must be traumatising to her, despite having virtually no real memory yet... She will surely remember this "degenerated fag" forever, but not her daddy swearing, I suppose'

He says all this as sweetly as the icing on a cupcake, with all the formality in the world. Despite knowing him for a while now, Chanyeol is still unable to tell whether he is actually upset or not.

'Very funny' the guy hisses, now facing them with all his body, towering over Baekhyun 'I'm warning you, don't piss me off any more...'

_If I were you, I'd follow my own advice now, jerk_...

'Oh, I'm sorry' the skinny boy pouts, his guilt looking eerily genuine as he switches to informal speech 'Does me calling you daddy rub you the wrong way? Or is it that you actually like it...?'

He is however unable to finish his sentence, because the angry father grabs his wrist and growls at him.

'How dare you...'

His girlfriend's eyes widen, visibly scared.

At the very next moment, Chanyeol finds himself peeling the guy's fingers off his roommate's wrist, his pulse thrumming with anger.

'Please, let go of him' he tells the man, his tone formal and his voice quiet, but firm 'We don't want any trouble'

The angry stranger turns his attention towards the med student, fuming.

'You...'

But he, too, is unable to finish.

'Excuse me, sir' the cashier lady booms, stern and commanding 'I would like to ask you to please leave'

The guy turns towards her, still angry but now a bit more unsure of himself.

'What?'

'Sir, I am asking you to please leave the store' she repeats, calm and collected 'I will allow your wife to pay and take your goods, but I would like you to wait for her outside'

By now, everyone in Seven Eleven is staring at the commotion and the angry man himself and a security guard steps out from behind the alcohol aisle.

The guy looks around and very slowly analyzes the situation, but then steps away from the two students, resigned. He hands his wife a wallet and leaves, shooting Baekhyun one last threatening look.

'Know your place, fag. You might find yourself getting beaten up if you don't'

An awkward, heavy silence settles in as he leaves. People are still staring at Baekhyun wide-eyed, but contrary to Chanyeol, he doesn't seem even remotely uncomfortable with the attention. He straightens his back and gives the crowd a big, bright smile, wetting his red tint-coated lips.

Time seems to slow down in an especially excruciating way while Mr. Angry's wife pays for the family's groceries and rolls her cart out of the store, her face burning with embarrassment. 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun pay too and the attention surrounding them slowly dies, except from the cashier lady, who gives the fashion major a loving-apologetic look.

'Don't mind him' she tells Baekhyun as she hands him his receipt and a few coins 'He's just a frustrated idiot'

'I don't' the small boy laughs, running a perfectly manicured hand through his artfully styled, maroon hair 'Everyone has the rights to say whatever they want...'

But then as they take their leave, he turns back and adds with a little wink:

'Thank you, though. Taera noona is the sweetest...'

'Noona my ass' the lady mutters, but there is something genuinely affectionate about the way she smiles and blushes 'Don't eat so much pasta, you're going to get as fat as me'

Baekhyun blows her a kiss and chants:

'I'd happily give all my money to become as beautiful as you... Goodbye, noona, see you next Saturday~'

As the cashier lady shoots them another shy-dirty look, they exit Seven Eleven and leave towards campus.

'Well, that was sweet' Baekhyun remarks, cheerfully swinging his bag of sweeteners and polyunsaturated fats around 'With guys like this, I always kinda get the feeling that they're in fact secretly gay...'

Chanyeol lets out a little chuckle.

_He sure as hell looked like that._..

But then his smile falters as he wonders out loud.

'Aren't you mad when something like this happens?'

Even though he's seen shit like this happen to his roommate multiple times already, he still feels angry and tense every time, almost more so that Baekhyun himself.

'Mad? Nah, not really' the skinny fashion major shrugs 'I've been hearing this for six years now, it would suck pretty hard if I weren't used to it...'

Sensing that he sounded almost _serious_ just now, Baekhyun quickly changes the subject.

'And how could I be upset anyway, when I just made you laugh for the second time today...'

He winks at Chanyeol with his signature blindingly bright Baekhyun grin and stands on his tiptoes to squish the med student's cheeks affectionately.

'Let's go home, my knight in shining armor, I'm itching to open one of my jellos...'

Chanyeol just laughs yet again and follows him, but he just doesn't get it.

He has no freaking idea why anyone outside his family would make him smile, laugh and not only _tolerate_ his cheeks being squeezed like that, but borderline enjoy it. 

That, and he still doesn't understand why he always feels such an overwhelming need to protect his roommate and restore his usual happiness whenever it is threatened by someone or something.

***

By the time they reach their dorm, Baekhyun is his usual very happy and very gay self again.

'...and their main vocals are _crazy_ talented, you really should give them a try... weird that you listen to music all the time and there isn't even a tiny bit of k-pop in there'

He practically shoves his phone in his roommate's face, his screen showcasing a playlist of some makeup-caked, leather-clad boy band.

_Not really my cup of tea..._

'Ooooor...' Baekhyun wonders, a huge grin suddenly taking over his face 'Is it that you secretly like girl groups? All aegyo and pink fairy stuff...?'

That's just so damn absurd Chanyeol can't help but let out a quiet little laugh.

'Hah! Victory' the fashion student beams at him with all the pride in the world 'Third time today, I think I'm starting to get the hang of making you laugh... but anyway, there's no shame in that, I mean girly music. I can understand why a big, burly guy like you would want to take a break from his masculine side for a while and be the sassy little princess he is...'

The tall med student chuckles again and shakes his head.

'Not today'

'Nah, I don't believe you~' Baekhyun chants coyly 'I bet you're just jealous because I get to be a gorgeous fashion princess in public... oh heck, wait a minute'

Chanyeol gives the small, skinny boy a puzzled look because _hey, he almost dropped his precious phone just now_...

'Holy guacamole, Juni-yah texted me s.o.s. and I didn't even notice!' Baekhyun panics, typing furiously 'It must be about our dress...'

He looks up at Chanyeol with an apologetic, ear-to-ear smile, flashing childishly small, pearly white teeth.

'I really gotta go over to her and check if everything's okay, hope you don't mind'

His roommate shakes his head no and gives him a small smile in return.

'Go see her, I'll take the laundry downstairs. Want me to take yours?'

Baekhyun grins even wider and scratches his neck in embarrassment, like an anime character.

' You know me too well... I'll be right back, I love you~'

And with that, he rushes down the dorm building's stairs and leave towards the east, where the majority of the girls' rooms are. Chanyeol smiles and closes the door behind himself.

In the two months and eleven days they've spent here so far, while he himself settled for the company of Baekhyun, Kyungsoo and his two friends, his roommate got acquainted with approximately half of the campus. Every Thursday and Friday night he's clubbing out in town and whenever Chanyeol sees him during the day, it was always with different people... except for this girl.

Juni-yah, or more properly Juniper Kim, the short, curvy, jade-eyed fashion terrorist is Baekhyun's classmate, seemingly best friend and partner in crime. As far as Chanyeol knew, they spend every day together, with the girl visiting the dorm and taking him to dinner often. The med student is already used to it: most afternoons their room is invaded by Baekhyun, Juni and the rest of their faculty working team, quiet, petite Uchinaga 'Uchi' Eri and handsome workaholic Kang Dooyin. 

Despite them being a team of four, it is Baekhyun and the Korean-American girl who generate at least ninety percent of the noise they make. If the skinny boy is his favorite dragonfruit energy drink, sweet and bouncy, Juniper is vinegar, harsh and unapologetically acidic, though undeniably intelligent.... even if her opinions seem a bit judgemental for Chanyeol sometimes.

Even though she seems to get along fabulously with Baekhyun and looks genuinely fond of him, Chanyeol sometimes wonders if she would stay like this if the boy wasn't a veritable fashion genius and the only one who can exist at her deadly speed 24/7.

_But why am I thinking about protecting Baekhyun from someone potentially dangerous again...?_

Instead of ruminating further on this however, the tall, reserved med student just picks up his laundry and collects Baekhyun's from all over the floor, then leaves to the washing room in the dorm building's basement. Once there, he carefully separates the clothes in terms of fabric and color, then occupies at least four machines with them, knowing how sensitive his roommate is about his mostly self-made masterpieces.

When he gets back to their room, Baekhyun isn't and he supposes won't be there for a while then, so he quickly cleans the bathroom then remembers that _hey, the girls must all be home_...

He opens his laptop, a graduation gift from his mother, and checks his sisters' schedule. It's already half past six and Saturday on top of that, so he figures they aren't really out and about... _and yes, he still has his sisters' weekly schedule despite having left home, what's wrong with that?_

He opens Skype and dials his mother.

She answers almost immediately.

'Chanyeolie, dear' she greets him, sitting at the family's kitchen table in a knitted sweater, her still-beautiful face tired as usual 'How come you're calling so early? Wait, I'll get the girls...'

Her tall, slender figure leaves the screen for a while and the med student can hear her muffled voice in the background, calling her three daughters. 

They are all there around the camera in a minute, cramming behind their mom to fit in the rectangle their brother sees on his laptop.

'Hey, Superman!'

'Oppa, how are you doing?'

'I miss you so much...'

Chanyeol's mouth curves into a huge smile, one he would never show anyone outside his family.

_I missed you too... I always do._

For a few moments, he looks at them and takes in the sight, the four people he treasures most on this earth. 

In the right corner sits the eldest sister, sixteen year-old Jinae, tall and beautiful, a spitting image of their mother. On mom's left is the only social butterfly of the family, Jineun, fifteen, fierce and the daughter who somehow miraculously ended up short, svelte and curvy despite there being no preceding family member with her looks. And of course, shyly peeking from behind Jinae, there is twelve year-old daydreamer Jinri, the only girl you can actually _tell_ is Chanyeol's sister. They are eerily similar both in looks and personality: tall, muscular and clumsy with untameable black coffee hair, the kind of staggeringly shy specimen who survives on minimal social contact.

'Hey, oppa' Jineun butts in, frank as ever 'How come you're not at one of your jobs? I thought you're still compulsively working your ass off for us...'

'Work is from five to eight am. Non-online or nightly jobs are only occasional' he tells her, ignoring the snappy little remark with a smile 'How are your dance classes going? Did you get the part you wanted in the choreo?'

'Yeah, sure I did' she grins, flexing her arms playfully 'I'm the only center in the show, that whiny, high-maintenance Barbie doll Chaeyoung is _so_ jealous, you should have seen her face... she looked like a shovel got stuck up her ass...'

Jinri giggles and the eldest sister lets out a little laugh too, while Chanyeol just smiles.

'Jineun' mom scolds her second daughter gently, but the med student can tell she is very proud and not mad at all.

'Get your priorities sorted, mom' the feisty dancer rolls her eyes 'You're telling me off for a bit of swearing but not Chanyeolie-oppa for working crazy early in the morning...'

'Our brother is a working adult, living away from home' Jinae tells her with the faintest of smirks lingering in the corners of her mouth 'And he's stubborn as a mule, we could never tell him what to do... you, on the other hand are still under Park family authority'

'Oh, shut up, unnie-' 

'Hey, girls...' Chanyeol interrupts the unraveling argument softly, his voice warm as melting chocolate 'You'll have time to quarrel when we hang up, but until I'm here tell me how your week went'

So they do talk, each girl in her own style, all the while remaining equally formal with their mother and brother and never interrupting each other, kind of a family trait. It's Jineun who talks about her life the most, snide little remarks scattered through her story. Jinae, visibly feeling obligated to take her brother's place in caretaking only talks about the other two and mom, often lovingly reprimanding them for something. Shy but extremely smart novelist Jinri is a lot quieter, since she calls Chanyeol almost every other day anyway to ask for help, advice or just a bit of quality time together. The med student knows how difficult most social situations are for his youngest sister and he is also aware of the fact that the two other girls don't always understand her, out of the four siblings it's Chanyeol and Jinri who are by far the closest. Hence why he can't really blame her for having a difficult time adjusting to his absence. 

As almost an hour passes, Chanyeol catches himself feeling relaxed, something he doesn't experience often. His ever awake anxiety dozes off for a while and his borderline violent compulsions subside too, as always when it's family time. 

Not that he doesn't worry, but fretting over his mother and sisters is something he's been doing for eight years now, so it's safe to say it has become part of his comfort zone.

'... so you were cleaning again, I guess' Jineun chuckles, rolling her sharp, fierce eyes.

'Now that you mention it' mom looks behind his son, wondering 'I have been meaning to ask you: how come you are always alone when we speak? Last time, you said you spend a lot of time with your roommate, but he is never here... We would really like to meet him'

Boom, uneasiness hits again.

'Pff, come on...' the dancer of the family lets out a rather unladylike snort 'That's too much people and social interaction for him at once'

She gives her brother a devious little look, wearing her signature salty Jineun-smirk.

'I bet you tell him to leave every time you call us...'

_No, I actually just wait for him to leave or go over to harass Kyungsoo for alcohol_...

'Not true' 

'Then when can we see this miracle roommate of yours?' she retorts coyly 'Admit it, you actually live alone but came up with this crazy guy to make us believe you actually got yourself some friends...'

Chanyeol opens his mouth, ready to brush it off, but he is interrupted by a very familiar, impossibly cheerful voice chiming in behind his back.

'You mean _this_ crazy guy? I'm alive and real, sweetheart~'

***

Jinae swears it happens almost like a scene from your typical feather-light comedy. 

Jineun is in the middle of harassing Chanyeolie-oppa as usual, relentlessly nagging him to introduce them to Baekhyun, the roommate they already heard a lot about and then _abracadabra_ , a door opens behind oppa and this guy appears, looking like an LSD trip personified.

'I'm alive and real, sweetheart~' he chants and their brother freezes, looking _comically_ uncomfortable.

The guy, dressed in dark purple jeans, black leather and opalesque, blue-green sequins all over, throws his arms around Chanyeol-oppa's shoulders. He squeezes him into a hug most would consider intrusive at best, which to oppa means a complete security breach... but much to Jinae's amazement, her brother doesn't say a word.

'Hey, handsome, is this your family?' he chirps, giving the girls and their mother such a bright smile, Jinae could swear even his blue-purple makeup sparkles.

He turns to the screen, not even waiting for oppa's reply.

'Byun Baekhyun at your service, the aforementioned miracle roommate. I've been standing behind the bathroom door _forever_ , but when I heard you say that, I couldn't resist blowing my cover... I hope I'm not interrupting precious family time though~'

Jineun snorts and even the youngest smiles a little, because Chanyeol-oppa's face is showing them a loud and clear _yes_.

'Why on earth were you hiding in the bathroom?' he asks, a sort of resigned I'm-not-even-surprised tone in his voice.

Mom however invites Baekhyun to join in, eager to get to know him and Jinae has to admit she is sort of curious too... especially after catching a glimpse of the guy's jewelry and masterfully painted nails.

'Why thank you... I've been wanting to meet the people who share Yeolie's absolutely wonderful genes'

_Yeolie?_

Baekhyun pulls a chair out from behind the screen and sits very- _very_ close to oppa.

'Wow' he flashes them a huge, toothpaste-advertisement-white smile 'A whole family of extraordinary beauty, this is so _impossible_... You girls must be fending off herds of enamored boys at school'

He sizes them up one by one, observant but so warm and friendly at the same time Jinae just _can't_ feel offended.

'Let me guess... The young lady in the exquisite Looney Tunes PJs must be Yeolie's little clone Jinri, I heard you are an amazing artist. Now you, the sex symbol with perfect bangs, you're surely Jineun, the dancing queen. And you, remaining beauties... well, I have to admit I'm in trouble here, you could both pass for a very smart and studious sixteen year-old'

Jineun chortles, Jinri and their mother blush in unison. Even Jinae can feel a smile taking over her face, despite how unlike her that feels like.

'You really are too charming, just like my son told us' mom beams at him, all laid-back smiles and poise.

'Wow, really?' Baekhyun exclaims, hugging his roommate with one arm 'My sweet prince, you are making me blush~ Do you compliment me that much behind my back?'

Oppa just gives him an exasperated look.

'Please refrain from calling my sisters "sex symbols" and don't talk to them about boys' he tells the skinny, thoroughly decorated guy sternly, but Jinae notices how he doesn't really escape that hug and, though barely visible, the shadow of a smile lingers in the right corner of his mouth.

Everyone except the two oldest kids bursts out laughing.

'Come on, I call you that all the time' Baekhyun laughs, tousling oppa's hair with so much warmth and affection Jinae almost laughs with him.

But then the fashion student adds something that makes them all freeze.

'It's pretty obvious you girls got mom's extraordinary beauty... But where's your dad? I want to see for myself who gave this genius such _superior_ looks'

Suddenly, the Parks all fall silent and every molecule of happiness disappears from the air around them. Jineun's face falls and Jinri's lips quiver, as if she's about to cry. It's as if even the air around them turned cold all of a sudden. 

_We really should normalize thinking and talking about him, this is ridiculous_...

Though a few seconds late, Baekhyun catches up too. That big smile is instantly wiped off his face and for a moment, he looks almost shy and lost. 

It's mom who finally answers.

'My husband died eight years ago' she says, her voice quiet and disconnected, but then she adds with a weak smile, as if she just realized how depressed she must have sounded 'But you guessed right, Chanyeol does look a lot like him'

The skinny guy's face falls in a scarily short time.

'Man, I'm really sorry' he stutters, his sunken-in cheeks flushing a faint pink 'I didn't know... let's just pretend I never brought him up, uh... let's talk about the weather, is it nice there in Tongyeong?'

The ice cold stupor breaks and they all let out faint little laughs. Jinae however feels the need to add something.

'It's okay, you said nothing wrong... and I don't blame you for not knowing, oppa never tells anything to strangers'

Baekhyun's mouth drops open in fake shock and he gasps, _deeply_ offended.

'Strangers? Beautiful young lady, you offend me gravely... We're _friends_ , aren't we, beautiful king of my heart?'

Chanyeolie-oppa frowns ever so slightly. Jinae doubts anyone outside their family notices these subtle shifts in his expression, but to her it's clear: he was taken by surprise.

'Yeah' he nods, a touch late, averting his eyes from his roommate.

'Wow, that sounded very enthusiastic' Jineun chimes in with her usual dose of sass, making everyone laugh again 'Baekhyun-oppa, are you sure about you two being friends?'

' _Very_ sure, thank you' he straightens on his chair proudly, making them all laugh and the heavy darkness of grief evaporate from the air.

'Okay' she nods with a cheeky little smirk 'A bit of a test then... Did you know oppa has an eidetic memory?'

_Oh no, not this._..

'Well...' Baekhyun bites his lip pensively, but then lets out a little laugh 'Sorry, I'm afraid I'm too much of a dumb bitch to know what that means'

However, his eyes narrow suddenly and he turns to Chanyeolie-oppa, his small, soft mouth dropping open.

'Wait a hot minute... does that mean you have that super genius photographic memory or something? Wowza, that's incredible! Uh, let's see.... can you remember what I was wearing the twenty second of October, for example?'

The girls all laugh out loud and Jinae shakes her head, exasperated.

_To say he hates this being mentioned would be an understatement, really..._

Oppa sighs, shooting Jineun a dirty look.

'No, I'm not a genius who remembers absolutely everything' he shakes his head 'Jineun-ah, I told you not to bring this up with other people'

Their second youngest sister lets out a rather unladylike snort, grimacing under her black bangs. 

'C'mon, oppa, don't be so fucking uptight all the time' she rolls her sharp feline eyes, sticking her tongue out 'But fine, he's not a real genius, it's just that he can remember most of what he reads or sees... it was way more obvious when we were younger'

She turns back to their brother, raising a thin, sharply arched eyebrow.

'Are you satisfied, now that I assured everyone you're _by no means_ extraordinary?'

'Deeply'

'That's still pretty awesome though' the fashion student flashes Chanyeol-oppa a huge, blindingly bright grin 'Wait, so _that's_ why I never see you study? Wow, you're really something, my handsome prince'

Oppa doesn't reply, he just shrugs, looking very uncomfortable.

'He really is a freaking weirdo, isn't he?' Jineun chortles, asking Baekhyun 'He seems to prefer people thinking he's boring and ordinary, when he clearly isn't...'

Then, after a moment of pure, devious smirking, she adds:

'I mean, have you seen his ears?'

Baekhyun-oppa's face instantly lights up.

'Oh my god, yes' he exclaims, clapping like a kid 'I've never met someone with such adorable elephant ears before, they're the _cutest!'_

Looking at Chanyeolie-oppa's expression of pure misery, everyone bursts out laughing, but Jinae finally decides it's time to show their big brother some mercy.

'Everyone, let's stop harassing him' she reprimands her sisters and Baekhyun softly, then turns to their mother 'Mom, you said you wanted to get to know oppa's roommate... Baekhyun-oppa, would you mind telling us a bit about yourself?'

The eldest sister doesn't even notice, but they chat with Baekhyun for almost an hour before they hang up.

As a person of thought and analysis, and of course one who worries about her brother, Jinae observes Baekhyun closely throughout their discussion. She ends up sort of unable to pinpoint it why, but despite his pushy and very direct personality, his over-the-top remarks and the way he seems very proud of being gay but avoids answering when Jineun asks what makes him so sickly skinny... despite all of this, Baekhyun evokes an immensely positive gut feeling in her, which is topped off by the fact that oppa seems very fond of him too.

While Jinae mentally lists all these things, Jineun only says one thing after they hang up:

'Okay, I'm betting all my allowance that they are dating, fucking or will be doing one of these very soon'

***

_Huh, it's finally over_... Chanyeol sighs inwardly as he closes his laptop, relieved. 

Letting someone in like this, to see his life, _his family_ , was completely unprecedented... well, up until Baekhyun happened, apparently. The skinny humor lord barged in and charmed all of them in an instant, then proceeded to talk to them for almost an hour, which is only surprising because his sisters, even social butterfly Jineun are normally very closed-up, if not distrustful with strangers. As hard as it is to admit something like this, in spite of all the anxiety, malaise and worrying about when someone is going to say something terribly inappropriate, the med student has to admit he enjoyed himself too.

And then there's that moment when...

'Hey, beautiful~' Baekhyun interrupts this train of thought, bouncing awkwardly on his heels 'I... this might be super annoying, I mean of me to mention this again, but I'm super sorry about bringing up your dad. Your fam was real nice about it, but I saw how uncomfortable you all looked, so... yeah, I won't mention it anymore if you don't want me to'

_Actually, I don't mind. I have no idea why, but I don't..._

The med student just shrugs.

'Actually' the fashion major begins, sounding hesitant, which is definitely a rare occurrence 'I wanna ask something... you don't have to answer if you don't want to, just...'

Chanyeol nods, signaling him to ask away.

'So, uh... what happened to your old man? Everyone seemed shocked when I brought it up, it must have been nasty...'

'Car accident' the tall, reserved young man replies, his voice showing no emotion. 

To do so would require him to think about it, which would be.... _no, that can't happen_.

'Fuck' Baekhyun mutters, crestfallen. Strangely, the first thing that comes to Chanyeol's mind is that he looks somewhat cute during these rare moments of shyness.

Remembering how the skinny energy drink freak once said _well, he and his mom aren't exactly best friends_ and the fact that he usually acts like she doesn't exist, Chanyeol blurts out a question he regrets in a split second.

'What about yours?'

For a millisecond, Baekhyun's eyes darken with the shadow of something that looks almost like _bitterness_ , but then he puts his usual grin on again, as if on command and replies:

'Dunno, I never knew him... but based on the people my mom usually hangs out with, he must be a sick fuck'

They fall silent, but now it's heavy and dense, compared to the usual light and amicable quietness that sometimes settles in the room.

'I take it family isn't something either of us likes to talks about' the med student breaks the silence after a few very tense moments.

'Yeah, let's leave it at that' Baekhyun nods, eerily serious.

To Chanyeol's immense relief, at the very next moment they hear knocking, followed by Kyungsoo's kind, bearlike face.

'Hello' he greets them 'I cooked a bit for Jongin and it turned out to be a lot, do you want to join us for dinner?'

They both happily say yes and the tension is gone, just like that. 

As they go over to the small kitchen they share with the psych major and his dancer roommate, or now friend, Baekhyun's faucet of endless blabbering opens again, but the med student stays silent, even somewhat disengaged.

He has something big and unfathomable, but weirdly heartwarming to wrap his head around, namely the fact that Baekhyun called him his friend.


	3. A glimpse into their "deep inside"

(11th December 2017, Sungkyunkwan Uni)

'Hey, Daddy, pass me the soju, please~'

'Are sure it's a good idea to start drinking before you even get to the club?'

Baekhyun just dismisses Kyungsoo's worries with a leisurely wave of his hand and grabs the bottle, chugging a huge gulp of the soju they bought earlier.

'Whoa, something smells delicious and Baekhyun is drinking again, not a good idea' Minseok enters without anything even remotely like a greeting, as usual. Jongdae shuffles in the room behind him, almost tripping over one of Baekhyun's glittery boots.

'Hello and welcome to you too, Hotshot' the fashion major retorts cheerfully, his voice muffled through a mouthful of pineberry jellos 'Careful, Dae-yah, I'm planning to wear that one tonight'

The writer-dancer duo take off their coat and sweaty jumper respectively and take their seats on the floor, making the number of guests in the Chanyeol-Baekhyun side of the room jump from four to six. The owners of said room are already here and so are their neighbors, with Baekhyun sitting atop his bed in a pair of boxer briefs and Chanyeol on the floor between their beds, properly dressed and silent as always. The friend group's resident cook Kyungsoo and his roommate are sitting on the floor, unable to occupy the table due to it having sort of disappeared under Baekhyun's mess. 

Minseok and Jongdae join them on the floor and get served by their best friend immediately, tonight a large bowl of alfredo pasta. 

'Wow, man' the short, lean dancer turns to Jongin 'How come you're eating actual carbs, what happened to you dieting?'

'Chicken is protein' beautiful, vain Jongin replies and takes another big bite 'And Yeti just explained why I need carbs and healthy fats to enhance my performance'

'Hey, I've been telling you that for _weeks_ ' Minseok shakes his head in disbelief.

'Well, he's the doctor... and I'm not going to follow nutrition advice from someone who eats every day like he's pregnant with freaking triplets'

Everyone present bursts out laughing. Even Chanyeol smiles a little, and when it comes to him, that's equivalent to a full-on fit of giggles. 

'Shaddup' Minseok mumbles, a sauce-coated noodle hanging from his mouth 'I need every single calorie, I'm bulking year-round now...'

'Oh, yeah' the other dancer grimaces, wiping a stray smear of white sauce off his chin 'I wonder why they don't say in the damn brochures that physique maintenance takes almost as much time as that cursed dance practice itself'

Minseok nods, as a sign of painful agreement.

'I really don't get you, fitness folks' Baekhyun chimes in, picking up glittery, silver nail polish as he throws the empty jello cup beside his bed 'The only two forms of physical activity that are even remotely enjoyable are raving and sex, that's it, everything else exists only to ruin my hair and makeup'

'I suppose that's why we don't wear makeup to the gym' Chanyeol says in his signature so-deep-that-makes-it-quiet voice, picking up the pineberry-stained plastic cup and throwing it in the trash can on his side of the room.

Everyone bursts out laughing, like clockwork. This is a communication skill that never fails to amaze Baekhyun: his reserved friend always remains mostly silent during conversations, only listening, but then adds these quiet little remarks here and there which make everyone laugh so hard they shit their pants. 

One would think anyone can learn to do this, but the fashion major disagrees. It's that trademark quiet, deadpan Chanyeol-ness that makes these moments so funny.

***

Everyone laughs at what he just said, again. After three months and twelve days, Chanyeol figures he should be used to this, but somehow, it still makes that tingly little flash of almost-happiness warm up his stomach for a few seconds... not to mention that peculiar sort of tunnel vision that makes him focus ten times as hard on Baekhyun's reaction as the others'. 

He's used to always watching his roommate, no, _his friend_ (another thing he's not yet used to) from the corners of his eyes, as if he was putting the eccentric, skinny artist under constant surveillance to make sure he's safe and happy... seemingly without any plausible explanation. He never stops watching him smile, laugh, bounce on his bed, sing obnoxiously loud as he works, do his hair and nails religiously every morning... and for some strange reason, the med student always finds himself extremely fine-tuned to his reactions, feeling this goddamn absurd joy whenever he makes him laugh.

By now, he kind of settled in the state of not knowing why that is.

'Art is better than being a gym rat' the fashion student declares 'Right, Dae-yah?'

'Absolutely' the sensitive, skinny writer nods with a contented, proud but also somehow shy smile 'I would choose mental exhaustion over joint pain and being out of breath any day'

'You're both fricking weirdos' Minseok shakes his head, scratching his neck 'Soo, you too. And, dance _is_ art'

'So is figure maintenance' Jongin adds with a grimace, sizing himself up in the tall, narrow mirror Baekhyun said he had found on the street after a night out last week 'And a fucking pain in the ass'

'Don't even get me started on that part' the short, ripped dance major scoffs, shooting Chanyeol a dirty look from under his ever messy, still-damp hair 'Yo, Chanyeol-ah, if you weren't the coolest dude on earth, I would really fucking hate your guts, y'know'

He puts his plate aside and opens a can of Pringles, continuing through a huge handful of chips.

'I swear I've never seen _anyone_ like him before' he turns to the others, gesturing towards the med student 'Okay, he runs a whole fucking lot and yeah, physical activity at work and shit, but damn, bro, you still look unnaturally jacked after only like three weeks of lifting with us. It's like you're on some kinda roids'

He stuffs another stack of Pringles in his mouth, then adds:

'I like you a lot, but sometimes when I see your back muscles, I kind of just want to murder you'

_Cut it out, it's so damn uncomfortable_... Chanyeol grunts mentally, but doesn't say anything out loud. He just shrugs, looking away.

'Well, that's just my smoking hot genius prince for you, out of everyone's league' Baekhyun retorts, relieving the med student of the duty of answering 'But boys, boys, don't be jealous, you're all very... well, it's safe to say I wouldn't kick you out of my bed and God knows how picky I am'

He directs a cheeky little wink at Kyungsoo, making him chortle dryly, but it ends in a genuine, warm smile. 

_Seems like no one can resist Baekhyun after all_...

'Wow, how fortunate' Jongin lets out a very un-dancerish snort, flashing a cocky, slightly lopsided grin that always makes Chanyeol roll his eyes mentally 'How did you know I was trying to hook up with you?'

Everyone laughs, much to the med student's dismay, while his roommate just shrugs playfully and goes over to his closet to pick out some clothes.

'I'll take that as a compliment, babe' he sticks his tongue out at Jongin, giggling 'and just ignore the fact that you're _dogmatically_ heterosexual... Mr. Different Girls Every Night'

'Hey, hey' the vain blonde runs one bejewelled hand through his _tastelessly_ professional hairdo, shaking his head 'I never said I am'

He wets his lips, a visibly deliberate move.

'Since starting uni, I feel oddly inclined to swing the other way sometimes' he adds and the quiet, reserved med student could swear his sharp, catlike eyes jump towards Kyungsoo for the fraction of a second.

Minseok rolls his eyes behind his back, provoking the corners of Chanyeol's mouth to twitch with satisfaction.

Baekhyun turns around, elbows deep in clothes, and gives Jongin a grin.

'By all means, find me if you do swing one day' he tells the dance major, playfully slapping his butt and running a hand down his bare, tapered thighs 'But I only once or twice. I mean, don't get me wrong, if any of you ever felt the urge to take advantage of my inferior physical strength, y'all are so sexy I'd play along for sure...'

He then points at Chanyeol, wiggling an eyebrow.

'But as soon as possible, I'm marrying this guy right here'

Chanyeol's eyes widen slightly, but he doesn't have time to choke on his own saliva in shock and ruminate on his friend's comment for an hour, because Baekhyun turns towards him.

'Hey, sweet prince, please do your betrothed a favor and give me my ring box, I think I left it under my bed somewhere'

The quiet med student looks under Baekhyun's bed and spots said box peeking from under a fancily embroidered, deep purple suit jacket. He hands it to him, along with the badly rumpled jacket.

'Holy cow' the fashion genius exclaims, clutching the jacket like it was the Holy Grail 'I've been looking for you since yesterday, you runaway little bitch.... Thanks, beautiful~'

He blows Chanyeol a loud, exaggerated kiss and buries himself in his jewellery box.

'Okay, I know you call everyone by these stupid nicknames' Jongin tells Baekhyun, that pompous grin lingering on his face 'But I swear it seems serious with our Yeti here... Looks just like you have a little crush on him~'

_Bullshit. And don't call me that again._

'Of course I do, he's the best' Baekhyun retorts with a _very_ convincing nod, then laughs 'Please, feel free to ignore the fact that Minseok calls Dae "Mochi" all the time and you yourself refer to that gorgeous smartass Soo by a thousand different nicknames as well'

'Ho-ho-ho' the nicer dance major raises two bony, angular hands defensively, looking positively revolted 'We've been best bros since forever, leave us out of this. Dae looks like he's gonna puke...'

Jongdae averts his eyes, cheeks burning.

_I think he rather looks disappointed to hear you say that..._

'Whatever you say, Hotshot' Baekhyun shrugs his bony shoulders, clasping a black leather choker on the back of his neck and gestures towards Jongin and his quiet, humble roommate 'But nothing can stop me when it comes to shipping those two'

Kyungsoo blushes very subtly, for no more than a few seconds, but the med student notices his full lips twitching into the ghost of a smile. Contrary to him, Jongin just shrugs, stretching his long, toned, jean-clad legs.

'If that makes your dick hard...'

Then, the topic shifts from Baekhyun's fictitious crush to the Korean education system, for some weird reason and Chanyeol decides it's time to take a break from the conversation. He takes off his shoes, placing them carefully aligned beside the door and sits on his bed to watch Baekhyun get ready.

As someone whose wardrobe consists exclusively of baggy t-shirts, jumpers, sweatpants, two pair of jeans and no accessories whatsoever, Chanyeol finds his friend's dressing rituals absolutely fascinating. 

On not-so-special days, he doesn't bother putting on makeup, but his nails are nearly always painted some extravagant color, accentuated by a veritable armada of accessories. His outfits are outrageously creative, eccentric, but aesthetically pleasing every day and except for evenings spent in their room, when he ties it in a bun, his hair is always spotlessly styled. Despite the incessant downpour of snide remarks or straight-up insults raining on him every single day, Baekhyun seems to just not give a flying fuck, unafraid to be one hundred percent himself. 

At some point, the med student realized that deep down, he admires his roommate for that. When it comes to dressing up and actually just _existing_ , he himself is always trying with all his might not to draw any attention.

In spite of every day being one for revolting outfits with the fashion major, his quiet friend found out very early on into their friendship that Thursdays and Fridays are special, even compared to the usual kind of crazy. 

These two are his designated clubbing nights, it seems, but the med student would bet a large sum of money he is going to the same two places each time, two environments that couldn't be more different. 

The place of Fridays appears to be the more laid-back one. This time of the week, the skinny boy's makeup is less extravagant, more on the cute side with pretty, pastel clothes that, while being just as much of a fashion statement as everything else, are undeniably conservative compared to Thursday's ones. Now too, he is wearing a black crop top, which, paired with iridescent, skintight, royal blue pants, glittery silver boots, his usual Thursday choker, black leather with a heart-shaped locket and accessories and nail polish to match his boots... it all makes for a very deliberately sultry, alluring look. With all this and the thick, smoky makeup, it's as if...

...as if he was trying to say _come take me, anyone you may be_.

Also, on Thursdays, he doesn't eat any dinner, or virtually anything after two pm. Not that he consumes an adequate amount of calories aside from that, and _not that Chanyeol didn't notice this either_ , but the fourth day of the week comes with even less food than the others.

Needless to say, Chanyeol harbors a deep dislike for Thursdays.

***

'Bye, my beautiful harem~ Your boy will be back to entertain you tomorrow'

Baekhyun leaves the room, accompanied by a juicy insult from Jongin and friendly goodbyes from everyone else. Everyone, except for Yeolie, who just gives him a little wave, all the while looking at him. No, actually, it isn't even looking, it's an intense stare, which the fashion major cannot exactly decipher. 

All right, to be honest, it's rather Chanyeol as a person he cannot exactly decipher. 

The guy is an enigma, and a challenging one at that. Even though Baekhyun spends more than half his time with him, out of sheer affection and enjoyment, he catches himself realizing again and again how little he knows about the quiet, reserved med student. He doesn't say nearly anything about himself and when he does it's the result of persistent nagging on his friend's part, like for instance, having an eidetic memory and three little sisters. His actions don't tell a whole lot either, when he isn't off working or exercising, Baekhyun only sees him cleaning, reading or watching movies. 

What he does know however only makes the fashion major feel more and more fond of Chanyeol. The way he cleans and tidies everything around himself compulsively, his array of fantasy and sci-fi novels, all in spotless state, the very unexpected enthusiasm for these genres he shares with Kyungsoo and the Mochi duo, every single baggy tee he owns... to Baekhyun, these seem to be the funniest, most charming things in the world.

These little bits of knowledge aren't _nearly_ enough however.

Curious as he is, the fashion student is positively _itching_ to know more about his friend. There are certain things he's already observed, like the way he knows what his sisters are doing 24/7, how he is constantly fretting over them, even talking on the phone with the youngest one _every other day_... but these little tidbits of information usually bring more questions to the surface than actual answers. Why is he literally managing all his family's life despite having one himself? Why does he run more than an hour every day? How the hell is he still capable of going to the gym with the dancers too? Why does he seem to be always working but spending almost no money on himself? 

_It's almost like he is depriving himself from all the pleasures in life_....

As he boards the subway to the club district, Baekhyun wonders if the med student has a sort of secret life, like he does. If so, what does it entail? Is he a clandestine drinker? Does he binge on pasta and sweets? Is he a street fighter or an adrenaline-addicted biker by night? _Does he do hookups?_

Weirdly, this seemed the most unlikely of all the fashion major's ideas. 

Atypical as this is for a nineteen year-old, Baekhyun has never seen Chanyeol display any sort of sexual attraction towards girls before. Or guys, for that matter. He is single, he doesn't flirt, doesn't approach anyone, doesn't talk about girls or even look at them. Okay, he's so secretive it's hard to know for sure, but still... his roommate just wants the info.

_Maybe he has his eyes on someone? He could secretly be in love_...

Entering the club relieves Baekhyun of the duty of being honest with himself and admitting how uneasy that possibility makes him feel.

He shoves that thought deep down into his subconscious and lets his body and mind melt into the dizzying medley of smoke, alcohol, sweat and sex in the air, disappearing in the bowels of the room, into the dark.

_***_

_Oh damn... what time is it?_

...

_Now that I think of it, who cares?_

Baekhyun slips his phone back into the pocket of his embroidered suit jacket, giving up on reading the number on the screen entirely. 

His whole body is floating in a weightless state of serene emptiness, his extremities somehow both numb and at ease from the booze, his blood tingling pleasantly with its elevated alcohol content. His mind is dizzy, still reduced to a mushy puddle of nothing as an after-effect of the night. He is thinking somewhat coherent thoughts by now, but none of it really reaches him. Every possible concern and warning sign just bounces off his mind like stones thrown at a rubber wall, registered but not processed at all.

He tumbles down to the nearest subway stop, aware but indifferent towards the stares his ruined makeup and skimpy clothes get from the few people down there.

_I must really be crazy_ he thinks, amused by that prospect. 

Secretly, he really enjoys that, hearing these words from other people. Whether it's complete strangers, Juni-yah, other friends or those men, it always makes him giddy with joy. It means he's interesting. It means they aren't bored of him.

As long as they don't get bored of you, they won't throw you away, that he learned early on in his life. And you always have to be the one who does the throwing away. Being dumped is shameful.

Being abandoned is the absolute purest liquid alkaline of pain.

As he boards a stray subway some twenty minutes, or an hour, a day later, it really feels difficult to determine, Baekhyun is trying not to think, to wrap his mind around nothing and cling to it.

He hates this part of Thursdays the most. Before, it's all adrenaline and craving, every cell inside his body is screaming for it. During, it's a trip in the clouds, not having to think about anything, with his mind completely dulled and his body reduced to magnified sensations and basic, well-practiced movements. After, it's always this alcohol-infused half-awake mental desert, with the shittiest thoughts imaginable circling around his dead brain like vultures.

Now too, places and faces of his past and present are running around like mad inside him. It's like one of those gritty, depressing noir movies Junie and Kyungsoo like so much, images flashing then sinking back into the pitch-black lake of his subconscious.

The abandoned hotel building near his elementary school, where it all started, in a sense. The mouldy walls. The deserted parking lot. The white tiles of that shower in the locker room. The cold, hard floor of it. All the alleys. The hotel rooms. The teachers, the students, the principal, and the one before him. Teacher Hwang Seokjin. That guy, Choi Gitae. Then, the apartment. The tight, moist, mouldy walls. The sticky floor. The constantly blinking kitchen lights. That cracked, paper-white bathtub. The mattress.... and then her. 

She comes in fragments, like always. Locks of thinning, raven hair. Sickly pale, damaged skin. Sharp collarbones, countable ribs, hipbones jutting out, protruding elbows, wrists, knees, ankles, _everything_. Thin, cynical lips, always bloody, the skin chewed away from them. Flaky, wine red nail polish at the tip of every claw-like finger. Cold, merciless pools of poison that she called her eyes.

In the end, it's always the apartment. And her.

Nausea stirs Baekhyun's empty stomach and he gets off the subway with an ungraceful tumble. As he takes the stairs and finds himself a corner away from campus, a flush of cold air creeps under his jacket, washing the past away. He navigates his brain back to oblivion and focuses his dizzy, incoherent trains of thought on what's before him. The uni, the campus, work, his friends...

With small things like the pants he is working on, the haircut he promised Kyungsoo and the upcoming Christmas party with the five guys resurfacing in his mind, the fashion major's mental ship floats back to the shores of reality, of the present. The sight of his door is the force that throws his anchor onshore and binds him there.

He slides the door close behind himself, somewhat aware of the time being... very late and kicks off his boots, preparing to go to bed.

For some weird reason, the sight of Chanyeol sleeping in his clean bed, surrounded by pristine order, and the sounds of his slow, serene breathing drain every last drop of discomfort out of Baekhyun's body. 

Lips curving into a giddy smile at the nest of wavy, dark coffee hair spread out on his friend's pillow, he goes into the bathroom to try and get his makeup off, calling tonight a day.

***

_'Oppa, please, don't leave us...'_

_Jinri's face, puffy and shiny with tears, her entire little body shaking with sobs. The dimmed lights in her room which illuminate the two other girls' sullen, pained faces._

_'I'm so lost, I just don't know what to do!'_

_A twelve year-old version of Jineun, small and fragile, her pale, claw-like fingers digging into jet black strands of hair, sticky and floppy like it's made of tar. Her tapered bird legs tremble as she takes shaky, wet breaths, her stomach a concave abyss of hunger and pain between her ribs and hipbones._

_'I'm so selfish, this is unacceptable, but I don't want to become her, I don't want to take mom's place... '_

_Jinae, strong and serious Jinae, nothing but stillness and poise is crying into her empty hands, long, black coffee hair covering her beautiful face, way too mature, way too early._

_'I'm so sorry! I failed you all...'_

_Mother, beloved Mom, the center of his universe for so long, falling apart before them, her tired body collapsing onto a chair, into the arms of her thirteen year-old son who has no idea what to do. He can feel his chest aching with every sob from heart-wrenching pain, lungs screaming for relief, as if they were slowly being filled up with her tears, suffocating him._

_'I don't know who my father is, but judging by the people mom usually hangs out with, he must have been a sick fuck'_

_Baekhyun, everyone's little fashion prince, the cutest, the happiest, wandering on the streets late at night, alone. His small, emaciated body is shaking from the cold and he is out there doing God knows what with no one to protect him._

_Jinri. The kitchen. Mom's phone ringing, the way she collapses onto her knees. Her chalk-white face as she walks out of the coroner's office after having confirmed it's him. The three girls at the funeral, all thin, deadly still statues of black-and-white, so pale and monochromatic in their sadness. Jineun. Her sharp eyes losing strength as she confesses she hasn't been eating, because it's the only thing she can control, that she will never lose. Jinae. Her arms tightening around him as they take one last look at Dad's face before the coffin is closed and buried forever. Mother, hugging all four of them, trying to stay strong but there's nothing to her, she can barely stand._

_Dad. Screaming. Cursing. Jinri. Crying. Unable to sleep. Pain. Jineun. Crying. Starving. Pain. Jinae. Crying. Sobbing. Desperate. Bleeding. Mother. Crying. Crying. Cryingcryingcrying and not there, never there.... Baekhyun. So small. So skinny. So lost. Smiling. Always smiling. But what if he's unhappy? What if he's not safe? Baekhyun._

_Where is Baekhyun?_

Fuck!

Chanyeol jerks awake and his eyes snap open. He sits up, dizzy and vertigo-stricken, heart hammering in his heaving chest. As the chilly night air sneaks up on him, he realizes his entire bed is soaked with sweat. 

He looks around and the room is still empty. It's only him, his sweaty, cold sheets and the clock on his bedside table, its neon green numerical eyes flashing 03:21.

'Oh heck'

As he hears a very familiar voice from the bathroom, relief washes over him. 

_Baekhyun is here. He's not lost._

But then he realizes he cannot be sure about that just yet.

He lies back under his covers, facing his friend's bed. He sweeps some hair onto his forehead, hiding behind his messy bangs to conceal the fact that he is awake and watching silently.

Soon enough, Baekhyun tumbles out of the bathroom, his silhouette illuminated by the moonlight and the slim ray of white neon creeping from behind the bathroom door. He is barefoot, his silver boots glittery on the floor and his hair is a mess, creating a sweaty curtain before his eyes. Droplets of water fall from his face to the ground, presumably from a haphazard makeup removal earlier in the bathroom.

The skinny boy chucks his suit jacket away, letting it rumple under his bed and his top follows suit, but not before he wipes his face on it. He starts removing his jewelry one by one, choker, silver hoop earrings and an array of rings, slowly, with shaky fingers. He almost falls over multiple times during the process and a cold, sinister sense of foreboding stirs awake in the depths of Chanyeol's stomach.

_He told me that raving, or whatever that is, includes a lot of dancing... he must be exhausted._

But something, a quiet but persistent gut feeling tells him this is a different kind of exhaustion. 

Baekhyun collects his rings and opens a drawer on his bedside table only to dump them all inside it, his hand a foot away from his friend's face, at most. Chanyeol notices something on the delicate skin of his wrist...

...something that looks like a bruise.

_Don't tell me..._

But the fashion major takes a turn towards the bathroom and pulls his wrist out of Chanyeol's sight. The med student stares at his friend's bed, his large eyes wide open with uneasiness. He hears the tap running for a few seconds, then tumbling footsteps. The bathroom door is left wide open now, the outpour of sharp, white light behind it illuminating the small room, with every single object in Baekhyun's godforsaken mess of a habitat casting a shadow on the floor, including Baekhyun himself. 

The small, sickly thin shadow peels his skintight jeans off and tosses them under the table, then takes off his boxer briefs as well... but the movement halts halfway and he gasps, a sharp, hissing sound.

'Son of a bitch' he mutters, his voice hoarse and weak with something that sounds like more than just alcohol and vigorous dancing. 

He throws something into the trash can in the corner and that something makes a sickening, sticky kind of sound, but the med student can't exactly pinpoint what it is.

However, when Baekhyun walks into his sight again, he forgets about that in a split second.

His friend is stark naked, his body a fragile little marionette of soft flesh and subtly protruding bones, his skin so pale it seems to emanate a faint glow when embraced by the neon lights like this. That, however, is something Chanyeol has already seen many times, and what makes his heart freeze and his breath die in his throat is the part that _wasn't there_ the last time he saw him.

Baekhyun's back, his firm buttocks and his tapered, birdlike thighs are covered with marks, angry, thick snakes of stingy blood red and a deeper, throbbing, sick purple. Those on his thighs are more subtle, they will probably be gone in a few days, with no traces of them ever having existed, but the ones on his back... 

They are dark, swollen and aggressive, like someone tried to encapsulate all his hatred and rage into this small, fragile body. 

_What...?_

Baekhyun goes to close the door and climbs into his bed, curling up under his covers and swiftly falls asleep. Fifteen minutes later, he is completely motionless, with only a soft mess of maroon hair and quiet, shallow breaths to show that he is there, alive... 

...but Chanyeol is still stiff as stone, staring wide-eyed at his back in terrible, ice-cold horror.

What the fuck caused this? Who did this to him and why? Was he attacked and taken advantage of... or was this something _he actually wanted?_ Is _this_ what he does every Thursday? Is it always the same man, or are there more? 

_More rotten, sick fuckers_....

The med student's pulse is thrumming in his ears, his heart hammering and his body heated by a frustrated rage, ready to explode. He can feel his shirt getting moist with sweat again, but he doesn't care, because all he sees is Baekhyun in a club, an alley, a hotel room, a car, _somewhere_ , small and defenseless, limp like a puppet thrown away as someone is beating him up, pushing him on his knees, swearing at him, _using him as a mere vessel for his hatred_. All he sees is Baekhyun slowly getting up from the filthy ground and tumbling home afterwards, alone and lost. 

All he sees is fucking _red_.

He tries to calm down and regulate his breathing, to find some kind of solution, to be enlightened, _to just fucking know what to do for Baekhyun or how to make this stop_ , but he just can't. All his stunned, crippled brain does is scream and pointlessly regurgitate images of his friend, _this incredible, goddamn sweet person_ , getting beaten up and reduced to pain and humiliation personified.

_Breathe. I have to breathe._

He jumps up, not even thinking, and grabs his running shoes, lacing them with trembling, clumsy hands. He fetches his phone and key then leaves the room, running down the stairs, out of campus, to the dark, deserted streets. 

He runs all the way to his morning workplace, a supermarket nearly twenty-five miles away, but neither the throbbing, breath-stealing exhaustion of running, nor those three hours of lifting crates and boxes makes the pain and terror disappear.

***

_Oh crap..._

The simultaneous beeping of Chanyeol's alarm clock and the music blasting from his phone lets Baekhyun know it's 8:30 am, time to rise and shine and get ready for his 9:45 Art History class.

He stirs in his bed, the movement sending a sharp shock of pain up his back.

_Oh, yesssss_...

He inhales sharply, but then leans into the feeling, relishing in the stinging, leg-shaking pain and smiles, with all the satisfaction in the world. It makes him think clearly once again. 

It makes him feel alive.

Knowing his friend will be home soon, he bounces off his bed with an unceremonious thump and slips on the only pair of long pyjama pants and flannels he owns, to conceal last night's traces on his back and thighs. He darts to the bathroom and takes a quick, mind-freshening shower

He will have a great day today. The team finally got authorized to access the faculty's sewing room outside class, so they'll be spending the whole day here, after which comes movie evening with the guys (they have some sci-fi to show him, Star Wars or what, they were positively shell-shocked when he told them he doesn't even know what that is). Then, of course, _it's hyung time!_ On his first night in Seoul some two years ago, he discovered a club he was dying to try, by the name of Milk and Honey, and as soon as he hit eighteen, he was allowed in by a company of guys he's since been thrilled to see every Friday. Friends. Brothers, almost.

By the time Chanyeol comes back, he's all dandy, dressed and styled for the day in one of his favorite sailor blouse outfits and a veritable rainbow of bracelets. He greets the med student over a cup of strawberry rice pudding, all smiles and huge, sparkly eyes.

They have breakfast together. Baekhyun is having the time of his life, psyched for the day, however, he can't help but notice that Yeolie isn't his usual loveable, calm-as-still-water self. Despite his few expressions of emotion and collected gestures, he gives off a disturbed, frustrated vibe and contrary to other Friday mornings, he insists that the fashion major eats scrambled eggs and bagels with him. Baekhyun shrugs it off as tiredness or a shitty start of the day, leaving for class with a promise of Star Whatever and popcorn in the afternoon.

He has already forgotten about the sticky knot of used condoms in the trash, but unbeknownst to him, his friend hasn't.


	4. A day of old and new memories

(January 8th 2018, Sungkyunkwan Uni)

Only at nine thirty am, on his way back to campus from work does Chanyeol realize that _wait a second, it's his twentieth birthday today_.

For someone with an eidetic memory so sharp he is doing med school with no studying at all, it is truly weird that he forgets it nearly every year.

He shrugs, deciding this isn't an occasion worth any attention and shifts his mind back to the next task at hand, namely making breakfast for Baekhyun.

Now that it's officially midterm season, the eccentric artist genius is working on full blast, constantly leaving conversations to take notes and continue concept sketches. Their task for next Friday is to submit a bouquet of concept sketches and designs for the huge year-ending exam: three finished pieces per person of a completely unique collection. It's no surprise then, that Baekhyun, as someone in dire need of a scholarship is working like a maniac, which, of course, results in him eating even less than usual. 

For the last month or so, the med student has been trying very intently to make him eat more. Breakfast and dinner were his ace cards, as he noticed that in social settings, his friend tends to lean in and do whatever everyone else does, even if that means eating a full meal. Despite being a legendary cheapskate, Chanyeol found himself willing to buy a shit-expensive pizza with a myriad of toppings if it meant a proper dinner for Baekhyun.

As for actually bringing this up during a conversation and voicing his concern over a possible eating disorder, Chanyeol had to admit something to himself: he's way too scared of the prospect of Baekhyun getting hurt or upset with him.

So, the moment he gets back to their room and sees Baekhyun still sleeping, the quiet, reserved med student jogs to the kitchen straight away. Once there, he opens the fridge and pulls out the big guns: a jar of caramel chocolate spread. He bought it after Baekhyun had once mentioned he loves caramel. Hoping his friend will like it, he toasts two halves of a big, sugary bagel and gives them a generous coating of caramel spread, then proceeds to put them on a tray with a glass of strawberry milk, another favorite of Baekhyun's. He makes himself some scrambled eggs and throws them on a plate haphazardly with another bagel, then heads back into the room.

As if on call, the fashion major wakes up in that very moment, yawning and stretching like a contented kitten... well, that is if kittens wear pastel rainbow boxer briefs and matching crop tops.

Since the night of the 11th of December, Chanyeol has been feeling happier day by day to see him in so little clothing... it means there are no bruises, no memories of abuse to cover up.

'Mornin', sweet prince' the skinny boy yawns, his hands busy tying his bangs up into what he calls "the frustrated onion bun".

'Good morning. I made you breakfast'

He hands Baekhyun the tray and sits on the floor between their beds, still uncomfortable with the thought of eating on his bed and _maybe_ leaving a few morsels on the covers. His roommate has already expressed many times how hilarious he finds this, but to the med student _this is a serious concern, for God's sake_....

'My angel, you're too sweet' Baekhyun clutches his chest playfully, _deeply_ moved 'Breakfast in bed is truly a the most wifely gift one can get, but properly enjoying your riveting company is more important, so... make room for me'

And with that, he climbs off his bed, balancing the tray carefully. He tosses a pillow on the ground and plops down on it, so satisfied one would think he is a prince sitting on his throne. He takes a bite of the bagel with Chanyeol watching him carefully and pretending he isn't.

'Holy moley, this is _heaven_!' Baekhyun exclaims 'Where'd you get it? I want a jar of this for myself, ASAP'

'I bought it for you' Chanyeol tells him quietly, then, after realizing just how weird that is, he quickly adds 'You once mentioned you liked caramel'

Baekhyun's long-lashed eyes widen and he stops mid-mouthful, staring. The med student is in the middle of panicking, mentally screaming _no, he must think I'm a creep now_ , when his friend's face suddenly lights up, taken over by the biggest, most chocolatey grin the world has ever seen.

'Wow, you really are an awesome person, thank you so much~' he mumbles through a mouthful of bagels, then proceeds to plant a huge, wet kiss on his roommate's cheek. 

_A kiss. He just kissed me._

'I love you so- oh gee, sorry, I got it on you' Baekhyun tells a very stunned Chanyeol and swiftly wipes a stray smear of chocolate from his cheek, all the while he just sits there, dumbfounded.

Despite the fact that they've been friends for four months and nine days now, Chanyeol still finds himself unable to process this, time and time again. Why the hell would anyone like him? Truth be told, he is so disappointed in every single aspect of his looks and personality that he rarely ever stops to think about _himself,_ but when he does, he always comes to the conclusion that Baekhyun must have some extraordinary deficit when it comes to his taste in people. 

Still, this wonderful sugar addict seems to be quite fond of him and willing to spend time with him... and come on, he would be a real idiot to object.

Hence why he just rolls with it and watches Baekhyun eat his breakfast, feeling exponentially more and more uplifted with every bite and contented little almost-moan that comes with the process.

'This... mmmmh... this is next-level amazingness' the fashion major declares 'As good as an orgasm, I swear.... and just the right treatment for my hangover'

_Oh, right, yesterday was the 'good clubbing night'_ Chanyeol remembers, trying to concentrate on this part rather than getting all flushed and flustered about the word 'orgasm' like a monk in celibacy.

'Is it bad?' he inquires, probably sounding way too worried 'Do you want something warm to drink? Do you have a headache?'

Baekhyun lets out an affectionate chuckle and shakes his head no.

'Thanks, my prince, I'm fine' he reassures him 'The responsible gentlemen of Friday night's establishment always make sure I don't overdrink... that much'

'Where do you go on Fridays?' 

The question slips from Chanyeol's mouth before he could think, making him regret it almost immediately. He loves to hear about his friend and Baekhyun does always seem open to answer questions, but still... the med student detests talking about himself so much, he tends to just automatically think everyone else does too.

'If you don't mind me asking' he adds tentatively, just to make sure.

'Not at all' the fashion major shrugs with a huge, blinding smile, flashing his pearly white, somewhat canine-like teeth 'It's an absolutely extraordinary place, I don't know why isn't everyone in love with it...'

He chugs down the remainder of his strawberry milk, then puts the other bagel slice aside and leans on his bed, stretching his legs.

'Friday is Milk and Honey day' he explains, his voice growing higher and he starts talking even faster than usual, a sign of his excitement 'It's a gay club in Seongdong, honestly the best one I've ever been to. The design is just _out of this world_ , imagine, the name is Milk and Honey and not only their sign, but the entire place is freaking white and gold! It's alluring and dark enough to be a nightclub, but everything is milk-and-honey colored and the furniture and decor is perfect in every other aspect too... I don't know how they pull it off, but they do, so huge respect. Also, the regulars are the absolute nicest people I've ever met, _aside from you of course, my sweetheart'_

Chanyeol lets out a quiet little laugh and only then does he realize, he's been smiling non-stop ever since his friend started talking.

'Do you have a lot of friends there?'

'Oh goodness _yes_ , they're the best' Baekhyun rambles on happily, opening a small packet of raspberry gummies, to the med student's immense joy 'The owner, Jinki-hyung was a model for years before he opened the place, so he knows a lot about fashion. Even though he's the owner, he usually does bartending on busier nights, so we talk heaps, really... I was what, sixteen when I discovered M&H, and Jinki-hyung was pretty adamant about not letting me in until I'm eighteen... but I guess he grew very fond of me, because when I went there for the first time after my birthday, he introduced me to his friends. There was also Yunho-hyung and Dongin-hyung, actually...'

As Baekhyun carries on babbling and stuffing his mouth with gummies, Chanyeol just listens, his signature almost-smile very much still there. He feels immense relief hearing how happy this club makes his friend _and that at least one of them is a decent place._.. 

Not that he doesn't feel concerned about the fact that apparently, his roommate has been clubbing and drinking since the age of _sixteen_... 

...but during the last month, he kind of got the alarming feeling that with Baekhyun, everything he doesn't talk about is a way bigger and way worse secret than one would initially think.

***

'What do you mean sing like donkeys?'

'Donkeys, horses, parrots, whatever, the point is to be extremely loud and obnoxious'

'He'll hate it...'

'I don't think sooo~'

Baekhyun finishes his sour cherry energy drink and tosses the can into the trash with a lengthy, satisfied _ah_.

It's half past one pm, which to him, and everyone else, means lunchtime on the Kyungsoo-Jongin side... except for Chanyeol, who is, of course, working.

The owners of the room are sitting at their table, kind and overly courteous Kyungsoo looking beyond uncomfortable with seeing his friends on the floor. Minseok and Jongdae however seem perfectly contented down there, with the shy writer nestled in his now-boyfriend's arms, fit for a fresh couple.

_Who knew that Christmas parties and perverted card games borrowed from Yunho-hyung can bring about actual love confessions..._

As Minseok scoots closer to Dae and gives him a lazy, sated kiss, the fashion major swiftly shoves a pang of envy deep down into his subconscious and turns to Jongin, to explain his point.

'Yeolie's mom told me he's _never_ had a surprise birthday party before, so now that he will, we, _his friends,_ naturally have to make it as over-the-top and embarrassing as we can' he tells the handsome dancer, stressing the word 'naturally'. 

'Hence why' he continues, seeing how unconvinced Jongin looks 'Surprise dinner, cake and singing must all happen...'

Baekhyun then turns to the psych major, suddenly remembering the cake.

'So, Daddy, is our magnificent king of all desserts ready yet?'

'Not completely' Kyungsoo shakes his head no 'It still has to freeze all the way, but it will by the late afternoon, I think'

'Excellent' Baekhyun chirps, beyond psyched and gets up with a jump, stretching like a thoroughly energized cat 'I've gotta go work now, meet y'all there at seven pm'

And with that, he disappears behind the bathroom door that links the two rooms together, to pick up a few fabric samples before retreating to the faculty's sewing rooms, excited.

So excited, in fact, that he misses Jongin stretching to reveal his muscles, clearly as show for a _certain someone_ , and that certain someone sneaking a longing glance at him, then averting his eyes in embarrassment.

***

'Bye, oppa! Happy birthday!'

'Take care... and Jineun, obey your sister. While I'm not here, she is the official authority'

And with that, Chanyeol hangs up and logs off Skype, still grinning like an idiot. As soon as he realizes _fuck, he's showing his teeth,_ he immediately almost snaps his mouth shut, but the slight curve in the right corner of his lips remains, even though there is only empty blackness on the screen where the three girls were just a minute before.

In spite of how close they have always been, it still warms his chest, how they called him just to say happy birthday. It's _them_ , however, what makes him stay to talk to his sisters for more than an hour. As if life was a raging sea storm and they were the sole rock in the water: his sisters are the only thing he can imagine centering his life around. The only time he isn't worried sick is when they're here to show him they are safe and happy.

So, now that he knows Jinae passed all her midterm tests with excellent grades, Jinri is happy and inspired in her writing adventures and Jineun seems especially comfortable with her body, Chanyeol puts his shoes aside and sits back, deciding Earth is rotating safely enough around the sun for him to relax a bit. Remembering he is an episode behind with Game of Thrones and Jongdae is already burning to discuss the plot twist involving that wretched, annoying High Sparrow, he opens the mp4 file on his laptop. While the theme song plays, he goes to the kitchen to open the freezer and treat himself, a rare occasion. Plain, milk-flavored ice cream is his favorite comfort food, but as a person with very little comfy time, he only eats a whole tub in what, three weeks?

But now, his sisters are doing great, Baekhyun is more motivated than ever _and even Minseok and Jongdae finally got together_ , so why not?

He is in the middle of the episode and his cup of now-melted, lukewarm ice cream when Baekhyun arrives, carrying a large stash of paper and various fabric samples, along with a plastic male torso stuffed haphazardly in a pink tote bag.

'Greetings, beautiful~' he tosses his stuff on the floor then hugs the med student from behind, with an affectionate tousle of Chanyeol's hair that he wouldn't tolerate from anyone else. 

The fashion major lets him go to, by the sounds of it, pick up his sketches, but not before sneaking an interested look on his roommate's screen.

'Are you watching Swords and Tits again?'

'Game of Thrones' Chanyeol corrects him, turning away to hide his smile 'Yes'

'Oh, I'm not judging you' Baekhyun tells him so damn seriously he almost believes he is indeed doing something shameful ' _Someone_ has to like tits after all... what would happen to humanity otherwise?'

The eccentric artist places the mannequin torso back on its lower body with a very audible _thud_ , then disappears under his bed to find something that crinkles an awful lot, probably just more fabric.

'I am actually grateful, y'know' he tells the med student from under there, his butt sticking out in a rather comical angle as he reaches for something 'It's a blessing for us gay guys to have you straight folks keep boobs-based cinema alive and allow us to stick to male chests... both literally and figuratively'

Chanyeol lets out a quiet chuckle and turns around, just in time to see Baekhyun now standing and closing his backpack.

'It has a really interesting plot, just so you know'

Baekhyun laughs, perfect white teeth flashing from behind his lips.

'Come on, big boy, there's nothing wrong with having some libido' he snickers, giving Chanyeol a playful little pat on the head 'If I were hetero, you bet I'd only be watching for blonde lizard girl's pretty tits'

'Not everyone is Byun Baekhyun' Chanyeol retorts with an audible smile behind his voice.

_And I really dislike Daenerys_ he adds, but he doesn't need to say that out loud now, does he? Nobody likes weird geeks...

'Damn right, handsome' Baekhyun clicks his tongue playfully, then decides his friend looks like a rather comfortable chair, so he plops down on his thigh and throws a skinny arm around his neck 'Give me some of that, it looks nice'

He sticks out his tongue, his long-lashed, pretty eyes communicating _gimme SHUGAH, I'm hungryyyyy~_

.... or at least the med student figures that is something Baekhyun would comfortably say.

Chanyeol gives him a generous spoonful of ice cream, his every cell eyeing him with exasperation, but deep down, he is still smiling and he thinks Baekhyun knows... and for some weird reason, he doesn't mind.

'Sweet~' the skinny boy swallows with a contented _mmh_ , then plants a huge, milk-sticky kiss on Chanyeol's right cheek 'Hey, darling, do you wanna go get dinner?'

The med student shrugs, thinking _okay, at least you'll be eating properly_.

'Sure' he tells Baekhyun 'Shall we go get Kyungsoo and the others?'

'Nah' his roommate shakes his head with a lazy pout 'I feel like being with only you'

And with that, he just gets up from Chanyeol's lap and goes to pick up his, of course, black leather backpack, leaving the med student alone with his slight blush and hunched shoulders. 

Comments like this, they feel just as weird as when Baekhyun calls him handsome or sexy, he still cannot decide whether the skinny boy means it or not. He looks like he does, _but come on, who the fuck would ever call Park Chanyeol sexy? That's just absurd._

Baekhyun quickly runs his rhinestone-covered brush through his hair, freshens up his perfume, then grabs the med student by his arm and pulls him out the door, cheerful as ever. They walk down the stairs and agree pretty much unanimously on the campus food stalls, sharing a sarcastic-understanding look of broke college students. Baekhyun clings to his friend as they go and rambles on about his works, friends, the _smoking hot_ lecturer he saw this morning in the sewing rooms, just life in general. Chanyeol is happy to listen, his roommate's happy-sparkly energy seeps through the cracks on his walls somehow and spreads through his bloodstream.

As they reach the stalls, he is hit by the cheese-heavy scent of hotteok, which makes him realize he didn't even have proper lunch, but a nearly two-hour run instead of one. His stomach growls, signaling that ice cream wasn't _nearly_ enough.

Baekhyun, however, pulls him through the clusters of tables, as if.... _as if he was leading him somewhere._

Chanyeol does not get it, he really doesn't. Not when he spots Kyungsoo and everyone else sitting at a table with a crate of beer under the table, not when he notices _even Jongin is here_ , not even when he gives Baekhyun a sideways glance and notices he is smiling...

Only when Kyungsoo somehow pulls a cake out from under their table and Baekhyun joins them with the biggest, most blinding smile on his face and _fucking hell, they start to sing_ does it finally dawn on Chanyeol.

'Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday, Park Chanyeol...'

_What._

As the five guys sing at the top of their lungs - with even Jongin, who the med student is fairly sure dislikes him a great deal, yelling like a maniac - Chanyeol just stands there, so dumbfounded that he forgets to feel uncomfortable with the sudden, unwanted attention. He stands rooted to the spot, eyes wide as dinner plates, his face burning behind all the messy hair and the nonchalance he has learned to always show.

'...happy birthday to youuuuu~'

They finish and nearly the entire food parlor falls silent. Then, slowly but spontaneously, students around them begin to clap, cheering loudly. Chanyeol even hears a few sharp whistles and _happy birthday_ s from everywhere in the crowd. That's when he decides he does actually feels embarrassed, so he pulls out a chair and sits down quickly, averting his eyes from the sea of people around them. 

The applause slowly dies down and the med student just sits there, unable to say a word. There is an entire actual cake on the table before him and it seems like while he was standing, someone, probably Kyungsoo, lined up cans of beer in front of everyone, paying attention to give Chanyeol the alcohol-free pale ale he always has. 

He swallows, his chest full to the brink of bursting with something he can't quite name, but it feels like...

...it feels bizarrely akin to happiness.

'Well, happy birthday' Minseok breaks the cake-scented silence, giving the quiet birthday boy a friendly if a bit strong slap on the shoulder. 

They all congratulate him, even Kyungsoo, who is busy cutting the cake into handsome, neat little slices. That's when Chanyeol notices that _damn, it's an ice cream cake. A milk flavored ice cream cake._

At that moment, he feels a weirdly overwhelming urge to hug each and every one of them.

'Hey, Chanyeol-ah' Jongdae smiles at him, huge, earnest, but still shy 'This is yours, from Minseok and me'

He hands him a neatly packaged rectangular something, presumably a book. When he opens it, he finds _A Feast for Crows_ , visibly brand new. 

'You once mentioned this is the only Game of Thrones volume you don't yet have' Jongdae adds tentatively, as if worried the med student doesn't appreciate the gift. Chanyeol suddenly catches himself wishing he could express just how much he does.

'Thank you' he tells the shy, oversensitive literature major, who, in turn, gives him another smile, now a touch more relieved and confident.

'This' Kyungsoo hands him a plastic plate with a slice of cake 'Is for you. A collaboration of Jongin and myself, if you will'

The vain dancer snorts, running a hand through his ashy blonde locks.

'I poured the white chocolate on top' he chortles dryly, but Kyungsoo pats his shoulder reassuringly.

'No, you helped a lot more than that...' he tells his roommate gently, with a smile of rich, melting fudge.

It doesn't escape their neighbor's attention how Jongin unknowingly reciprocates that affectionate smile and the way Kyungsoo keeps his hand on his shoulder for a way longer time than what's appropriate for friends.

But then, his focus is shifted towards Baekhyun, who, up until now, was silent, just watching the proceedings excitedly and grinning like he's just won the lottery.

'And now for the best part' he announces loudly 'Me'

He fishes a package out of his backpack as they all laugh, something wrapped in holographic, royal blue paper and Chanyeol realizes _so that's what was crinkling like crazy_...

Baekhyun hands the package to his roommate, but then takes it back in a split second.

'You know what, I think I can open it much more theatrically than you... and I do want to attach a bit of an explanation as well'

Everyone laughs and the med student smiles too. He feels like whatever his friend's gift is, the happiness he feels is unable to intensify at this point, so he just looks on, interested nonetheless.

Of course, as always when it comes to Baekhyun, he is wrong.

His friend tears the paper open and something slips out, dark green, blue and purple. He holds it up high for everyone to see.

It's a sweater, huge and baggy like every single one Chanyeol owns, but much better made and honestly, light-years more stylish. Made of visibly good-quality, thick fabric, it's a deep pine green, with dark purple sleeves and a royal blue hood and pocket on its front, something the med student never buys a sweater without. On the chest part, there is a patch of purple fabric, the same as the sleeves, stitched onto the sweater with thick, dark blue thread. On it, there is a huge, shaggy cartoon yeti in sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, with a large white ice cream in its big right hand, _looking eerily like Chanyeol himself, actually_...

The med student doesn't even have time to feel astonished, because Baekhyun interrupts his rushing thoughts.

'Okay, so' he begins, audibly super-hyped about the gift 'I, as probably everyone else on campus, have noticed long ago that you, for some weird reason, like to conceal that fricking perfect body of yours under layers upon layers of tastelessly plain bagginess. At first, I wanted to break this cycle and give you a super fitted tee or a fancy suit jacket, but I realized I better do something you would actually wear more than once out of obligation, hence this. I tried to make it as loose-fitting as I could, and, while I was tempted to go colorful and exciting, I maintained the boring and depressingly dark color palette you seem to like so much. Butttttt, I just had to produce a gift fitting your genius originality, so I designed this adorable lookalike for you and put it on the sweater. Thoughts?'

While Baekhyun hands him the sweater and waits for him to say something, wide-eyed and excited, Chanyeol swallows, overwhelmed.

'This...' he manages quietly, desperately searching for the appropriate words 'You... this is unbelievable. I... thank you so much'

He falls silent, beyond embarrassed with his inferior verbal dexterity. His friend, however, lights up like a megalomaniac Christmas tree and practically jumps at him, throwing both arms around his shoulder and encompassing him in a tight, perfumed hug.

'Yesss~' he squeals with delight, planting a huge kiss on Chanyeol's face to everyone else's great amusement.

'Wait' the med student tells Baekhyun and gently peels his arms off his back 'I'll put it on'

He quickly slips out of his - now former - favorite black sweater and dons his friend's masterpiece instead. Not that he expected any less of the uni's resident fashion genius, but the fact that it's beyond just comfortable and fits perfectly just kicks his mood even higher. 

'Thank you' he says again, with a small, but very genuine smile. Baekhyun bursts into happy mode again, going on and on about how _it fits Chanyeolie so well, wow, he looks otherworldly sexy in it and holy moley, it's just perfect_... 

The tall, reserved birthday boy chuckles, actually out loud for once.

_He might really just be the most incredible person I've ever met_ he remarks to himself, not without admiration. Knowing how scarce and inexpressive his reactions are, he still cannot wrap his mind around why they make Baekhyun so happy. Why this extremely talented, lethally funny, sparkly cluster of joy - despite being able to charm absolutely everyone he meets - would choose to be around gloomy, boring Park Chanyeol, _of all people._

_Until he is here, it doesn't really matter now, does it?_

......

_Except it does, because I want to know what I'm doing so that I can keep it up._

Slowly but surely, the med student's sheer shock about this whole party thing quiets down and, atypical as this may be for him, he even catches himself joining a conversation.

'...the point is, I really want to know that one dream job broke students should turn to, because I'm not doing lifeguarding _ever again'_ Jongin shudders, grimacing.

'Fuck, mate, don't even get me started on that' Minseok snorts, shooting his best friend a painful look 'Soo and I, we did that once for almost a whole summer, it was _utter shit_ , times fifteen... All that sitting around for near-zero money, man, it drove me crazy'

The psych major lets out a dry laugh, then washes it down with a gulp of beer.

'Not to mention having a constant lobster-red burn all throughout the first two months...' he adds cynically, somewhat amused 'And all the entitled, nefarious little monsters who thought riling us up and dirtying the pools was the ultimate and only form of fun to have out there'

_Oh yes, I remember that too..._

'Yo, dude' Minseok suddenly turns to Chanyeol 'Soo told me you've been working for what, six years now... What was the absolute best thing you ever did?'

The med student shrugs, mentally listing the thirty-seven jobs he's had so far in terms of horribleness, and comes to a very much expected conclusion.

'To each their own, I guess' he tells the dancer 'What I'm doing now is pretty decent'

'I have to admit I can't even imagine managing that five am supermarket job' Kyungsoo chuckles, giving him a look of respect, almost admiration 'What are the others again? I lost track since you last told me...'

Still mildly surprised as to why anyone would care to hear about his life, the quiet, reserved young man lists his current jobs.

'Uh...aside from the supermarket, there is online translation and data management, then an evening shift in museum security on some weekdays and airport security on weekends, but that's mostly occasional. During school holidays, it's mostly the same, but back in Tongyeong'

'Whoa, that's a lot' Minseok clicks his tongue, impressed 'Which pays the best?'

Chanyeol shrugs his shoulders again, undeniably a touch uncomfortable with the blatant question.

'Security and the online jobs are pretty convenient, and in the museum, it's easy to do the two at the same time, nothing really happens after seven pm...' 

He opens another beer and retreats back into his chair, folding one arm defensively around his torso. Jineun always points out how he tends to hunch a bit during conversations with outsiders, but most of the time, he doesn't even notice.

'Well, my friend' Jongin smirks, stretching his long, svelte legs under the table with disgustingly apparent smugness 'I think you're an alien... or just some kind of freaking lab monster, I don't know how you manage not to go crazy with such a lack of actual life'

The med student just drowns any possible reply he might have thought out in a gulp of beer, his expression going from moderately happy to completely blank and unreadable again, like a clam slamming itself shut... when, in reality, his chest is bursting with white-hot rage and, albeit much less consciously, shame.

_I'm carrying on just fine, thank you_ he growls inwardly, chugging the remainder of his beer _And I think working to support your family and let your sisters do what they love and have a future is a bit more **adult** than being beautiful, doing parties and compulsively fucking around_... _all the while leading Kyungsoo by the nose because you need to have your amazingness reinforced every five minutes._

God, sometimes, he really is _itching_ to say these types of things out loud.

The conversation carries on without him, only Baekhyun making a very sweet half-joke half-compliment to stand up for his friend. Chanyeol nurses his beer in grumpy silence for a while, but then his roommate randomly hugs him again, and he decides _fuck Jongin, I don't need his respect or approval_.

True, he has _very_ few friends, or acquaintances, for that matter. He works his ass off, but doesn't indulge in anything other than ice cream and family Skype calls. He dislikes talking, hates most social situations, _absolutely despises_ parties and has nothing even remotely like a sex life.... but somehow with Kyungsoo, Jongdae, Minseok and Baekhyun, he gets the feeling that maybe they wouldn't laugh or look down on him even if they knew the full extent of it. With the former two, it also seems like they are in a very similar boat, and for that, he feels an absurd level of affection towards them, especially humble, intelligent Kyungsoo.

Nevertheless, when Baekhyun chimes in with a remark along the lines of _wow, it would have been crazy exciting to know y'all in high school_ , Chanyeol the clam hides in his shell again, with a blush he only hopes is more mental than physical.

Thinking back to high school, he feels an uncomfortable tension build in his chest and he almost winces in embarrassment. His superior memory sends painfully vivid images of loneliness shooting up into his conscious, each one more shameful than the last.

Always being alone at school, or at least ninety-five percent of the time. Having absolutely zero friends and afterschool activities, aside from scarce invitations to play soccer or pool with some of the less alpha guys. Feeling that stingy, painful disappointment upon accidentally seeing his reflection in something, that tall, uncharacteristically broad, unkempt, devastatingly clumsy clown he still very much is... except of course that most clowns tend to be funny, at least.

Going to work or home to the girls every single day, no exceptions. No chatting with others. No trips. No parties. No dates. _No nights spent with anything even close to a girl_.

It's only much later, after three more slices of cake and two additional beers, walking back to their room when Chanyeol loosens up again. With Kyungsoo and Jongdae planning a Lord of the Rings marathon with him, Minseok having invited him to the gym Monday morning and of course, Baekhyun clinging to his arm and dousing him in jokes and inappropriate compliments about his behind, the med student realizes _fucking hell, this is all he needs, and much more than he deserves_.

After that, when he retreats to the bathroom to shower and listens to Baekhyun still harassing Kyungsoo in the other room, Chanyeol catches his reflection in the mirror smiling. 

Contrary to most other times however, now he just shrugs and gets under the shower, freely relishing in the feeling of having actual friends, maybe for the first time in his life, stupid as this may be.

***

_Updated our account. There's the 400.000 for Jineun's dance classes and 130.000 for that sewing machine Jinae really wants. Also got the refund for the driving license, and Jinae's tutoring money, please make sure she spends it on herself. How was your week? Is everything okay with the new job?_

It's ten fifty in the evening and exhausted, forty-two year-old Park Haewon is currently reading the text her son sent her this morning for approximately the twenty-seventh time, fighting back tears. 

_Concern for our wellbeing, money he really shouldn't be earning all by himself and not a word about his birthday..._

She swallows, walking over to the sink to wash the remnants of a long cooking session, unable to look at her phone for another second. 

She hates this, the ambivalence she experiences while talking to Chanyeol. On one side, she loves to hear from him, _needs him_ , still after all this time, but then there is the all-consuming regret and the suffocating guilt she feels over having made her son into _this_. A twenty year-old boy working himself to death, actively throwing away his own life to act as a substitute father since the age of _eleven_... she normally tries not to think about it, but lately, it's growing more and more inescapable.

Since the realization struck, four years ago, Haewon has been trying to reverse it all, to rectify the damage. She quit her job as a medical assistant and became a lab tech, nearly doubling her income. She kept on encouraging them all, little Jinri to follow her passion and open up to others, Jineun to dance and buy all the clothes she wants, Jinae to just buy herself _something_ , but especially Chanyeol. As much as she humanly could, she nagged him to go out, relax, pestered him constantly about things he wants to buy or to do, she paid his driving lessons despite being horrified he'll have an accident like his father did, and here he is, _returning the money_. She pushed him to go to university in Seoul, hoping he'll finally develop a life of his own and will eventually abandon his role as the head and provider of the family.... but sometimes, it seems like it was all in vain. 

Jinae is slowly becoming her brother and she hates it, Jineun hates her mother and the life they live, Jinri hates _herself_... and Chanyeolie, this adorable boy and his heart of gold, he is being eaten by the idea of having and _wanting_ to care for them forever.

Their mother knows, she _knows_ they need therapy, not only Jineun with her eating disorder, but all of them as a family, but she's not ready to face her children and their anger and disappointment yet.

_I have failed all of them. I'm the worst mother to ever walk this earth._

Unable to bear it any longer, she drops a half-washed pot in the sink, wipes her trembling hands and goes tumbling back to her room, locking the door. 

She flips the lights off, except for the small, dimmed one on her nightstand, shuts her curtains close and climbs into bed, her extremities shaking like she is freezing. She opens a drawer beside her and pulls out a bottle of whiskey. 

Not even bothering to find herself a glass, she chugs it straight from the bottle, relishing in the burn it sends down her throat. It feels like punishment. Like divine justice.

Half an hour later, with an empty bottle in hand and a mind numbed into bearable nothingness, a stray thought of optimism floats to the surface of the river of alcohol inside Haewon.

_Baekhyun called yesterday_ she remembers. 

Out of the blue, her son's charming, chatterbox friend added her on Skype and videocalled her, asking if Chanyeolie has ever had a surprise party before and if so, what does he like to do during these. Then, he proceeded to explain how he once took her son's student ID while he was in the shower and found out his birthday is in two weeks time. And how he wanted to throw him a party with all his other friends.

She sobs into her pillow, drunkenly trying to muffle the sound as much as she can.

_He has friends, not one but four. He told me how they have movie nights and dinner together almost every day. He even goes to the gym with them..._

_Maybe it's not too late after all..._

***

'Okkkkay, I'll stop bothering you, but don't you dare think we're done'

'Of course not, that wouldn't be you now, would it?' Kyungsoo replies, giving him an exasperated look and sigh, but he is smiling and doesn't even try to hide it.

Baekhyun loves these affectionate smiles and loving-snide remarks. He feeds off them like other people do with actual food.

'Damn right' he replies, buzzing with energy despite the clock handle creeping towards midnight 'Nighty-night.... oh, that rhymed. Well, anyway, sweet dreams~'

Kyungsoo and Jongin both bid him good night as he leaves their room through the kitchen they share, ready to shower and maybe harass Chanyeolie into watching a movie before sleep.

He opens the door to their room, bouncy and energetic, but he stops almost mid-air, mouth slightly agape at the sight that greets him.

It's Chanyeol, freshly showered, but that's not what differs from any other night in their room. 

The med student is standing there _shirtless_ , wearing only his signature sweatpants, and hey, that's supposed to be normal among guys, even more so among university roommates, but Chanyeol never, and that means _never_ , goes anywhere without the protection of his baggy tees and sweaters. He always takes his clothes with him to the bathroom, but now, he is standing half-buried in his closet, probably looking for a clean t-shirt.

'Wow' Baekhyun blurts out, amazed.

His friend almost jumps, head jerking towards him so hard he cracks his neck. His large, dark eyes widen adorably under his damp-messy bangs, full lips ever so slightly ajar.

'... sorry' he chokes out, barely audible and now, he is _definitely_ blushing 'I'll put something on, give me a second'

'Don't' the fashion major almost _snaps_ at him, beyond excited 'Stay right where you are'

He practically runs up to Chanyeol, eyes wide open with excitement. He yanks his folded arms away from his bare chest to see it better, shamelessly feasting his eyes on that beautiful torso, while poor Yeolie just stands there dumbfounded, blushing furiously and blinking like a lost puppy.

'Oh wow' Baekhyun exhales, thoroughly impressed 'I feel like I somehow just became even gayer than before...'

Characteristically uncaring of being appropriate, let alone socially acceptable, the short, skinny fashion prince puts both hands on his friend's chest. Mouth still wide open, he traces it all with slim, soft fingers: those broad shoulders and the prominent, sharp collarbones connecting them like a bridge, the strong chest that narrows into a flat, toned stomach and slim hips, with just a mere glimpse of a pronounced V line and a faint trail of hair down from his navel to the _delicious_ treasure that's certainly hiding under there. Even his arms are more incredible than expected, with biceps bulging under his smooth skin, without any flexing whatsoever.

Right now, Baekhyun feels like he's in heaven... and obligated to admit that he has half a mind to start visiting the gym on campus, only to regularly see his roommate change clothes.

'My god, I can't believe you' he exclaims, shooting an amazed-affectionate smile straight into Chanyeolie's frozen face 'You look absolutely delicious! Actually, let me ask you a question, please, answer honestly. Are you hiding in these baggy, depressing rags because you don't like your body or because you know full well how beautiful you are and don't want to attract too many girls?'

His friend just stands, motionless and glued to the spot, his handsome face the very definition of puzzled.

'What?'

Baekhyun's jaw drops to the deepest pits of the underworld for the umpteenth time tonight.

'Satan have mercy' he breathes out, eyebrows raised 'You really have no idea how you _really_ look, do you?'

To this, he gets no reply, aside from bewildered, clueless eyes and that still-lingering, adorable flush on Chanyeol's cheeks... hence the unbearable urge to do something about this _disastrous_ misunderstanding right away.

'Okay, c'mere' he pretty much shoves his friend in front of his tall, full-body mirror 'Now look'

Baekhyun stands beside Chanyeol and points at his features one by one, like a professor explaining a very simple equation to a particularly dense student.

'These are your shoulders and arms. They are beautiful. This is your chest. Also beautiful. This is your stomach and these are called _extra-fricking-ordinary_ abs right here. And _this_ , my prince, is your butt. It's a very aesthetically pleasing butt, so be proud of it' he emphasizes the word 'butt' by grabbing a generous handful of said body part, then goes back to randomly pointing at Chanyeol 'This is a Park Chanyeol. He is genuinely one of the most drop dead gorgeous men I've ever seen. Mind you, I've seen an awful lot of men... The point is, you look like the perfect mix between a model, an athlete and a Greek god, so congratulations'

Chanyeol just swallows and nods okay, seemingly unsure of what to say. Now, Baekhyun is able to see it clearly: _this guy really is just shy as a baby lamb. He has no idea what dashing good looks he has._

Deciding not to make Chanyeol any more uncomfortable, the fashion major gives him a bit of leeway and lets him hide in an especially loose-fitting, obviously black tee - but when he sits down on his bed, he walks up to him, tucks his bangs behind his ears and examines his features with a thinking expression. 

Up until now, he really didn't have an opportunity to do this. Of course, he has already noted a fair amount of things, like how unusually large Chanyeol's eyes are, or how his big, dorky ears look like those of a newborn elephant, but there are so many aspects of this handsome face that escaped his attention.

The clean-cut, symmetrical lines of his brows. How clear his skin is, especially from up close. The slight, almost invisible downward curve of his slim nose. His lower lip, unusually full, soft and pink, like candy. The way the skin under his big, warm eyes swells a tiny bit when he is nearing the state of being tired. _Just how fucking cute those huge ears look with this beautiful, serious face._

Baekhyun's heart skips a beat in the narrow cage of his chest, and a slight flush blooms on his cheek, making him step back with a start.

'Incredible' he chuckles, as a means to regain his temporarily shaken composure 'You really are gorgeous. Are you sure you weren't lying about being single?'

'...yes'

'Well then' Baekhyun declares cheerfully 'I'm simply the luckiest person on earth, because in the absence of a lady, I can freely monopolize your precious time and company~'

Then he turns his back to his friend before he could notice the pink of his cheeks and picks up his towel from the floor, along with a pair of - most probably not - clean boxer briefs. He takes that and a comfy, white hoodie with kitten ears and retreats to the bathroom to shower, but not before popping a nonchalant question to change the subject.

'I'm still super awake, wanna watch a movie?'

Chanyeol visibly loosens up, his shoulders losing their rigidity, and he even smiles a little, nodding.

'Sure. What do you have in mind?'

'Choose something you like' the skinny boy replies with an affectionate wink 'We always watch my things, you must be tired of romance dramas and cheesy gay musicals'

The handsome med student chuckles, shaking his head and his friend closes the bathroom door behind himself. He gets rid of his clothes as swiftly as he can, then stands under the shower, revelling in the warmth of the water. 

As the clear plastic walls of the shower grow opaque with steam around him, droplets of water running down on it like tiny crystal race cars, Baekhyun's mind is suddenly invaded by a vivid series of images.

He recalls his friend's body, every muscle, every single feature on that strikingly attractive face of his. For some reason, he starts toying with the idea of Chanyeol standing here in the shower with him, that huge, broad, strong body pressing his up against the wall, those arms caging him in a dizzying medley of flesh, steam and hurried, ragged breaths, those full, pillowy lips meeting his. 

He bites his lower lip, uncomfortably aware of the way his heart is throbbing in the furnace of his chest and just how hard he became in less than ten seconds. 

_Oh come on, we're talking about Chanyeol here. **The** Park Chanyeol, who wouldn't look at me as anything beyond an annoying friend-slash-pet even if he were the gayest person on Earth. _

....

_Am I seriously going to jack off thinking about him?_

Not being the type to stress about these sorts of things for long, Baekhyun shrugs and lets it go.

_It's not like I never imagined Jinki-hyung, Dooyin or even Kyungsoo_...

So, he closes his eyes and goes back to the imaginary shower he conjured up a few minutes ago. He dips his slim, well practiced right hand down between his legs and starts stroking himself with gentle, barely-there motions, just the way he likes it.

He pictures Chanyeolie into his previous position, broad chest rising and falling rapidly with excited, shallow breaths and those large, strong, angular hands kneading his flesh with greedy, possessive arousal. They kiss and kiss, seemingly to no end, and Baekhyun latches onto imaginary Yeolie's delicious-looking lips. He pulls his tongue in his hot little mouth, suckling at his soft lower lip with teasing expertise. He imagines the sounds his friend would make, whether it would be quiet, breathy moans or rather grunts, rough and impatient. 

He settles for the latter and sinks deeper into the fantasy, just like dream-Chanyeol's tongue in his mouth. His hands roam all over that slick, muscular body, he touches and teases, eliciting more of those sighs and grunts of want. He gets ahold of his roommate's cock in his mind just as his fingers go quicker on his own in real life, letting out a small, throaty _mmh_ as achy, warm arousal starts pooling in his belly.

He always looks at it, not only with Chanyeol, it wouldn't even be Baekhyun if he didn't. No matter the baggy sweatpants and long tees, he noticed it back in September: certain sitting positions and the med student's favorite jeans already proved that he is beyond just well-endowed, the only question now is _how well exactly?_

Baekhyun imagines what it would be like to give him a blowjob. In his mental shower again, he kneels before Chanyeol and takes him in both hands, savoring the sight. Then, he gets to what he does best and _sucks_ , cheeks hollowing as he pushes him as deep down his throat as he can. He loves it, the scent infusing into his nose and lungs, the hard flesh filling his mouth and the dizzying way it cuts off his oxygen supply, sending his mind into a tumbling, blurry dance.

Just as fantasy-Chanyeol lets out a rough, throaty moan and comes in fantasy-Baekhyun's mouth, reality-Baekhyun jerks and tenses, his back arching. He moans, now a louder, whiny _aah_ and shudders, spilling all over his fingers.

_Ah, fuckkkkk_...

Baekhyun keeps his eyes closed for a while, catching his breath. He inhales and exhales a few times, slow and deep. Then, with his face and chest still flushed and heated, he washes the warm, runny come off his hand and finishes his shower.

Only when he stands outside the mirror, dressing up, does he realize that maybe this was different from other times, other fantasies. His face is a deep, burning red, one it hasn't been for a long time and somehow, in the back of his throat, he registers a kind of phantom feeling, the memory of having swallowed something huge... even though nothing really happened.

The worst: his heart is still hammering like crazy behind his ribs.

_What the heck is this?_

But all the answers that come up in his head are way too scary to even consider, so again, he resorts to what he does best and pushes these thoughts back into the empty, pitch-black well of his subconscious and heads out the door to join Chanyeol on his bed, _strictly clothed, as two ordinary friends_.

'Okay, my prince, what are we watching?'

'You once said you liked horrors and thrillers... Have you seen Seven?'

'Not yet, let's watch it~'


	5. A glance into the basement

(March 28th 2018, Seongdong-gu, Seoul)

'Oi, Bacon, are we still far from this favorite club of yours? Every single cell in my body is screaming for alcohol'

'Chilly-chill, Sex On Legs, it's right around the corner...'

'Oh, my precious nickname... Well, okay, let's say I'm appeased for now. But it better be nearby...'

Jongin completes his mock-arrogant response with a leisurely wave of one bejewelled hand and an almost _regally_ dismissive expression, making the others burst out laughing.

Tonight, somehow everyone is in a fairly decent mood - except of course for Chanyeol in whose case it's always impossible to tell, as in company, he tends to sport only two facial expressions: utterly indifferent and, well... utterly indifferent with one raised eyebrow, reserved for whenever Baekhyun does something stupid. Regardless, the others seem to be doing fine, with lovebirds Minseok and Jongdae walking hand in hand looking disgustingly enamored and lovebirds in denial Jongin and Kyungsoo chatting away as if no one else is here - _also_ disgustingly enamored, just in a more desperate and single way.

Baekhyun stifles a contented smile, still not really caring to admit how much these guys have come to mean to him by now.

Having already trespassed into a narrow, dark, neon-soaked district a few streets ago, the jovial little group of six finally stops at Baekhyun's beckoning, right in front of a large club. 

If Thursdays happen in the true bowels of Seongdong, in the darkness and mould, this place is its heart, the center of everything, at least for Baekhyun.

The building, being situated in the more moderate, non-shady part of the nightclub district, looks rather fancy yet somehow also welcoming: almost everything inside and outside it is either white or a shade of gold to match the neon sign reading _Milk_ _and_ _Honey_ in meticulous cursive. The darkened windows don't let that much show from what's going on in there but the fact that the bar manages to look secluded and almost _alluringly_ dark despite being white-gold makes it one of Baekhyun's absolute favorites.

_And of_ _course_ _,_ _the_ _regulars_ _are_ _also_ _quite_ _something_ _..._

The five guys look around as they enter, curiously taking in the dance floor and the drinking areas, all luxuriously minimalistic in style and bathing in light that's either a faint gold or a deep, rich amber depending on how hidden the area is intended to be. This one being a mid-spring Friday night, Milk and Honey is packed with people: attractive, energetic, scantily-clad and sparkling with jewels, sequins or both - providing a perfect explanation as to why Baekhyun feels so at home here.

  
  
Everyone is pretty much in awe, even Chanyeol raises an impressed eyebrow. Minseok, however, looks more than displeased.

'No offense, mate' he turns to the med student, his expression somewhere between stale and frustrated 'It's nice that you came up with this whole "let's celebrate Bacon's birthday at his favorite place" plan, but I'm not sure this is a good idea'

His face looks so damn _revolted_ that the short, skinny fashion student bursts out laughing.

'Come on, Hotshot' he pats the Dance major's shoulder, looking _smugly_ amused 'I'm the embodiment of the thoroughly gay fashion twink stereotype, what did you expect?'

'You not to prefer the horniest-looking place in town, dunno' Minseok retorts, tone bordering on annoyed 'Do you insist on staying here?'

Jongin chortles, exchanging an amused glance with Kyungsoo.

'Absolutely' Baekhyun replies cheerfully 'Why, what's your problem? Not liking the visuals of an all-male crowd?'

'Who cares about that?' the short, fit dancer grunts, throwing his friend a piercing death glare 'I don't give a shit even if they all suddenly whip out their dicks, or something... but if any one of these freaks even dares to _look_ in Dae's direction, I'm setting the whole place on fire'

Jongdae blushes adorably at that, lips curving upwards into a shy smile, his whole face utterly _besotted._

'Ohoho, someone's jealous...' Baekhyun chants coyly, visibly just trying to get a rise out of Minseok 'Afraid that your beloved cherry boy meets some real men...? Hey, don't kill me, I'm just kidding...' he protests as the dance major smacks him in the head and hides behind Chanyeol, fake-trembling 'Protect me, my prince, the ugly mister is trying to hurt me'

The tall, reserved med student just gives his roommate an exasperated look, grabs his shoulders and gently turns him in the opposite direction.

'There's a vacant table' he replies, voice so deep it almost melts into the background 'Let's go before it gets occupied'

Kyungsoo, Jongin and Jongdae laugh in unison at the _ridiculously_ sulky pout Baekhyun produces at that.

'Jealous my ass' Minseok mutters, still eyeing even remotely suspicious passersby darkly.

In the end they do get the table, thanks to Jongin swiftly sliding on one chair with a catlike sway of his hips, waving away a group of three impeccably styled gym rats with a flirtatiously apologetic shrug of his tanned shoulders.

'Excuse us' he flashes them a smirk, wetting his full, deep pink lips 'There's a birthday party happening here, we gotta reserve this table... I hope you attractive gentlemen don't mind'

'No problem, gorgeous' the tallest one replies, running a hand through his shoulder length, royal blue hair, sharp, monolidded eyes sizing up the group 'Who's the lucky one that gets to enjoy his big day in your beautiful company?'

Minseok lets out a dry chortle while Kyungsoo's face falls ever so slightly, milk chocolate eyes growing gloomy.

_Come on, Daddy, man up and get the guy..._

'It's me' Baekhyun chimes in, eyes glimmering with mischief under his smoky-glittery, opal blue makeup 'But I belong to _this_ stunning specimen here, so you can have that one'

He throws one skinny arm around Chanyeol's waist, soft, thin lips forming a cheeky smile that he fears might betray his intention of getting a reaction out of the quiet, humble psych major.

Kyungsoo however remains silent, his embarrassed, stupid-in-love gaze shifting away from Jongin to a not particularly interesting lamp on the wall.

'You're reserved? That's a pity' another one of the three butts in, eyeing the small bottom with a raw, carnal kind of hunger 'Hey, you. Hold on tight to your little prince or I might snatch him'

He directs this at Chanyeol who merely responds with a trademark unreadable look, saying nothing.

'Seungwoo, please keep your dick in your pants' Mr. Royal Blue chortles then turns back to Jongin 'Well, have a great night, beautiful stranger... I might drop by later. Eunjin, by the way'

'Jongin' the tall, ridiculously handsome dancer replies with a wink 'Although being called 'beautiful stranger' doesn't rub me the wrong way either...'

'I'll keep that in mind' Eunjin chuckles and waves goodbye, then turns to leave, along with Seungwoo and the third guy.

'I thought you said you're not actually into dudes, mate' Minseok lets out a dry laugh, one eyebrow raised.

'He isn't' Baekhyun chuckles, giving Jongin a friendly bump on the shoulder as they all take their seats 'He just enjoys people fawning over him, regardless of gender, don't you, Sex On Legs? I definitely understand the feeling'

'First of all, I never said I am not... and well, what can I do?' the feline-like blonde runs a hand through his ashy locks, toying with a frayed hole on his skinny jeans 'I'm a vain guy, I like to look better than others... That's why I hang out with the likes of you'

He glances at Kyungsoo, waiting for his usual laid-back, quiet chuckle, but his roommate is looking towards another table, appearing almost bored.

For a split second, Jongin looks so butthurt Baekhyun has to stifle a laugh.

_If only you knew how much he actually cared... come on, just kiss him already._

But a moment later, the handsome dancer's expression is already back to the default, charming and cocky to a fault.

'Okay, so, who pays for drinks?' he speaks up, talking over the semi-loud, sensually flowing techno music.

'First round's on me' the birthday boy cheerfully announces, then turns to his roommate, unable to resist asking 'Hey, handsome, will you come and help your little prince carry all those heavy glasses?'

Chanyeol nods before his friend could even finish his sentence, getting a happy-affectionate Baekhyun-smile in return, all perfect little teeth and huge, sparkly eyes.

'Alrighty' the birthday boy chirps, upbeat as always 'Speak and Bacon the genie shall grant your wishes... those limited to alcohol, I mean'

Everyone gives his order to them, then just as they're about to leave, Jongdae reaches out to gently tug at one sleeve of the striped t-shirt Baekhyun is wearing under his black crop top.

'That's actually a lot, do you need help?' he inquires with his signature genuine, kind helpfulness. 

Chanyeol opens his mouth to answer for once, an extremely rare phenomenon, but Minseok interrupts.

'Nah, babe, you're not going anywhere without me' he tells his boyfriend, pulling him into a somewhat possessive embrace, tone gentle yet firm 'Like hell I'm gonna risk you running into someone like that Seungwoo guy and getting harassed'

The fragile, pretty writer's face flushes at that, a faint, warm pink and he smiles timidly, gazing at his Minseok with absurdly eager, blind adoration.

Baekhyun bursts out laughing along with everyone else, promptly pushing a slight sting of envy down into his subconscious.

'Thanks, pretty, we'll be fine' he winks at Dae, lacing one arm together with Chanyeol's 'Stay with your bodyguard, I'll take mine with me'

And with that, the comedic duo - as called by practically everyone, by now - takes their leave.

For a moment, Baekhyun just looks around and soaks up Milk and Honey's delicious ambiance, his peculiarly jumpy heart skipping another beat from how happy and _secure_ this gesture of Chanyeol's makes him feel.

***

After almost seven months of being roommates, and as unbelievable as it still is to admit, friends, Chanyeol figures he should be used to Baekhyun by now - but he just cannot fathom this boy, no matter how hard he tries.

As this skinny, fragile little bomb of social energy interlaces their arms and turns around, ushering him towards the bar, the med student finds himself taken aback yet again, by _everything_ Baekhyun is. 

Loud and boisterous while simultaneously being small and vulnerable. Direct, almost uncomfortably so, without any malicious intent whatsoever. Pushy, but somehow not to an annoying extent. Friendly, but never disingenuous, yet he somehow manages to get along well with absolutely everybody around him. Not even _remotely_ funny, but provoking an almost irresistible urge to laugh in his roommate with nearly everything he does.

Sometimes, his roommate overwhelms, hell, even scares him by pulling such deeply hidden strings in him, other times he makes him feel at ease, almost _happy_ and tonight it's the latter, so quiet, secretive Chanyeol just shrugs mentally and goes with the flow...

...well, as much as a raging control freak like him can.

As they stand in line for their drinks, the skinny boy unsurprisingly gets recognized by at least four people in an instant, among them one bartender, so his friend just stands back and watches him interact, something he has always found comfortable.

'Baekhyun-ah! Long time no see'

'Well, look who's there... if it's not little Bacon'

'Baekhyunie! How could you miss an entire _week_ with us?' I the tall, soft-looking bartender feigns disappointment, dramatically sweeping cinnamon brown curls from his forehead, almost unnaturally full, pillowy lips forming an o-shape 'We were starting to think you went over to the dark side and changed headquarters to that pompous rabbit hole Pink Syrup....'

_Pink Syrup? What kind of tasteless, stupid name is that?_

The fashion student laughs, joyful and careless, flashing his neat, pearly white teeth.

'My lovely hyungs' he greets them, his entire being oozing a warm, fizzling energy 'Great to see y'all and come on, Jinki hyung, you know I'd never commit such _sacrilege..._ The only thing I would go there for is to dance around in Milk and Honey merch and promote the undebatable _top_ one place in town... pun very much intended'

Everyone laughs, one guy even gently tousling Baekhyun's maroon locks. He somehow always instantly charms everyone he meets and these men are no exception, it seems.

_They look like elder brothers all fond of the younge_ _st sibling_ Chanyeol remarks to himself, almost smiling.

'Oh, look at that' the guy apparently named Jinki beams at his friend, smiling like a proud father 'Seems like we have raised you to be loyal, hyung is so happy...'

Baekhyun blows him a kiss as an answer, his eyes giving off a certain cheeky innocence that's so _him_ it makes everyone smile.

'Speaking of honey' the hair tousler, a lean, somewhat foreign-looking guy speaks up, pointing in Chanyeol's direction 'Who is this good-looking stranger? Don't tell me Baekhyunie finally got himself a boyfriend...'

'Oh, him?' Baekhyun answers in the med student's place, playfully pulling him closer 'This handsome, mysterious statue of pure sex appeal here is my beloved husband, Chanyeol... nah, actually, we're just friends and roommates, he speaks so little I don't even know for sure if he likes me' 

_I do, so much you'd surely laugh at me if you knew._

But the med student doesn't say anything, just gives them a small bow and an amicable almost-smile.

'Oh, it's world famous Chanyeol' bartender Jinki chimes in, somehow managing to simultaneously serve a group of five and still focus entirely on them 'Baekhyunie told us heaps about you and how he apparently won the roommate jackpot'

'Pff, don't get me started on that' Mr. Hair Tousler adds with a hearty chortle, directing a wink at the med student 'Whenever we ask how he is, half of what he babbles on about is always Chanyeolie this and Chanyeolie that...'

The tall, reserved young man feels a light, tingly warmth bloom in his chest. When Baekhyun blushes for a second but then shrugs his shoulders and inches closer to him, the future doctor can't help but smile faintly.

After all this time, he still really can't believe the boy likes him, can he?

'Well, what can I do?' his chatterbox friend retorts 'He's just this great person, also, God knows I can't resist sexiness of this extent. Anyway, Jinki hyung, please take our orders... such a lousy bartender'

Those conversing with Baekhyun burst out laughing yet again, along with the kind-faced bartender who completely ignores the small bottom's mock-demanding tone and memorises the lengthy list of beverages he is given in an instant, yelling a string of drink names and extra ingredients towards the back.

'Y'all better make the mojito special' the fashion major quickly adds in his signature 'spoiled-rotten child' manner, obviously coupled with a pout 'It's my first and therefore official birthday drink'

Jinki-hyung slaps his forehead.

'Oh snap, your birthday!' he exclaims 'Ah, I remembered the date incorrectly, sorry... The next round is on me then, that goes without saying'

Baekhyun claps excitedly, like a cartoon bunny on speed.

'Thank you, love of my life~' he winks at his hyung, putting on one of his favorite acts, the overjoyed five year-old 'You made my birthday beautiful'

The bartender clicks his tongue, shaking his head with mock disapproval.

'Hey, aren't you just a tad bit too happy about that? Incorrigible sugar baby...'

'Come on, hyuuung' the aforementioned sugar baby whines, giving the bartender huge, fake-offended newborn eyes 'Don't make me look bad in front of my favorite sex god'

He clings onto Chanyeol's arm and looks up at him with his most frequently used baby seal gaze, accompanied by a probably unconscious squeeze.

'Don't believe them, my prince' he chirps, flashing his roommate a huge, blindingly bright smile 'I'm just your adorable Baekhyunie no matter what these ugly old men might say to defame me. You do love me, right?'

Looking at this big baby, lively yet somehow _so vulnerable_ , nearly makes Chanyeol laugh out loud. For a moment, he feels an irresistible urge to pull his friend into a hug and kiss his forehead, a thought which, as soon as he realizes how unlike him it would be, immediately proceeds to scare the shit out of him.

So, as always the tall, dark, reserved young man just gives his friend a fleeting pat on the head and an affectionate look, unfortunately too subtle for any of them to really notice.

'Let's take these to our table' he tells him gently as he points at their drinks, knowing that he probably sounds entirely indifferent.

Contrary to most occasions however, now he catches himself feeling sort of regretful about it. For a moment, he imagines sharing a genuine, warm hug with Baekhyun, something he's itching to do. 

His stomach gives a small jolt and his face is hit by a flush so heated and obvious, it makes Chanyeol want to punch himself in the face.

'I'll help you' Mr. Hair Tousler offers, leaving his seat in front of Jinki-hyung and picking up Kyungsoo's red wine along with whatever vividly colorful monstrosity Jongdae and his aching sweet tooth have ordered.

'Thanks a lot, Yunho-hyung~'

Baekhyun fetches his mojito and Chanyeol's root beer, glancing up at him.

'You know' he tells him, nonchalant and un-serious as ever, but the med student gets the feeling this isn't entirely genuine 'One day, I swear I'll make you say you like me'

_You already almost have, many more times than I would like_ his friend admits to himself, sinking deeper into embarrassment _Nobody has ever pushed this many buttons inside me, but you don't have to know that._

Merely thinking about that is so goddamn mortifying, Chanyeol almost shudders.

'Or at least that I'm not _that_ annoying' Baekhyun adds with a light-hearted chuckle, killing the moment that was way more tense than either of them would care to admit.

The taller one of the duo loosens up a little, the corners of his mouth forming one of those telltale almost-smiles which always cheer his friend up to a degree he honestly doesn't understand at all.

'You're not, at all' he tells him quietly 'Let's go back'

And with that, he picks up Minseok and Jongin's beer and tequila respectively, then takes a deep mental breath, tells himself _fuck it, why not,_ and proceeds to leisurely hook one arm around Baekhyun's shoulders, hoping his usual nonchalant facade doesn't choose this very moment to betray him.

Baekhyun, he supposes, knows him well enough not to say anything and make him shy away from physical contact, but he doesn't stifle the contented, cheerful grin that creeps onto his face. Chanyeol doesn't miss the brief, cheeky glance he exchanges with the guy named Yunho either, but right now he just cannot bring himself to care. Somehow when it comes to his friend, the satisfaction of seeing him happy instantly overwrites any other feeling the med student might have.

They leave towards their table, navigating through the thickly woven crowd of glamorously styled, albeit sweaty bodies and the almost palpable fog of alcohol, perfumes and aftershave that has slowly infiltrated the air throughout the evening.

Baekhyun turns towards his roommate.

'Hey, about-'

But at the very next moment, his sentence is cut short by a small figure bumping into him, almost knocking their drinks over.

'Oh, gee, sorry' the skinny boy blurts out as the stranger stands up and starts fixing his pale blonde hair with bejewelled hands.

'Watch your step' he hisses at the fashion student but then a flicker of recognition flashes through his sharp, catlike eyes 'Wait, I know you...'

'Oh, hey' Baekhyun hurriedly interrupts, one foot nervously tapping the ground 'Seojun, right?'

_Why is he acting so nervous?_ Chanyeol frowns, a cold sense of foreboding creeping into his stomach.

This Seojun fits the 'feminine bottom' stereotype to a tee, just like Baekhyun. They are around the same height and similarly skinny, but somehow, the stranger even more so, with not only visible collarbones but pointy elbows and hipbones aggressively protruding from under black leather pants. His face, contrary to the other's adorably open, pretty features, is sharp - merciless even - despite their similar style in makeup. Sickly pale skin, thin, cynical lips, hollow cheeks and eyes like bottomless stone wells, cold and pitch-black. Looking everywhere except his eyes, one might say he is - though definitely underweight - strangely attractive, but the icy glimmer of his empty eyes, to Chanyeol, betrays him in an instant. 

_I don't like him. At all._

'Wow, Baekhyunie' Yunho-hyung sizes the stranger up, his tone and gestures a friendly sort of superficial 'Do you have a secret twin you haven't told us about?'

_Twin my ass..._

No way in hell. 

Baekhyun is the cutest person on earth. This guy looks like a fucking serial killer.

'Oh yeah, I remember' Seojun chants with pretend friendliness, completely ignoring Yunho-hyung 'You're Alleyway Blowjobs... Baekhyeon, I mean?'

_What the fuck are you talking about?_

Baekhyun's face shows no change in emotion, but his shoulders go rigid under Chanyeol's arm, face growing deathly pale under the amber lights.

'It's Baekhyun' he corrects Seojun, liquid sugar dripping from his voice.

'Yeah, sorry' the guy replies coldly, not seeming sorry at all 'Signature activities are a lot easier to remember than names... What brings you outside the red light district anyway?'

The small bottom flinches in his roommate's tender almost-hug, barely noticeable. Yunho's shocked eyes are as wide as saucers.

'My birthday party, actually' Baekhyun tells him with a sunny-cute smile, straightening his posture. Anyone would think he is perfectly fine 'And you?'

'Not much' Seojun shrugs, looking around with barely masked distaste 'Just a one night stand with particularly crap taste. But I guess with such a... humble birthday party, it doesn't matter where you take your _two_ guests...'

He is speaking to Baekhyun but his gaze shifts to the med student, eyeing him with perfectly emotionless, almost predatory interest. As if...

... _as if he was trying to humiliate Baekhyun in front of me._

Chanyeol can feel his anger rising, acidic, bile-like disgust boiling in his stomach.

_You little shit..._

_'_ Baekhyunie' he turns to his friend, interrupting and ignoring Seojun while intently using an affectionate nickname to further piss him off 'Let's get back, Minseok is over there waving at us'

He gently coaxes Baekhyun to move from his spot, noting with slight satisfaction how affronted that fucking brat looks.

Relief flashes in the fashion student's eyes and he gives Chanyeol the fraction of a grateful glance.

'Well, then' he smiles at Seojun, giving him a small, amicable wave 'Have a good night, it was nice meeting you'

'Bye-bye' the asshole retorts coyly, a subtle smirk creeping into one corner of his mouth 'See you at Wired, when you get bored of softcore people'

He sneaks a sideways look at Chanyeol again, awaiting some kind of reaction, but the tall, handsome introvert turns away without even looking at him, gently leading Baekhyun towards their table.

'Wow' Yunho mutters 'Pretty, but he sure is salty...'

Chanyeol, still raging internally at how utterly destroyed his otherwise so cheerful friend looks, lets out a cynical snort. 

'He looks like a meth-addicted sewer rat' he says with a rare expression of disgust.

Baekhyun laughs weakly, a faint version of his usual spark slowly coming back. Chanyeol almost smiles again, but not yet. 

The world needs to regain its balance. He has to make him happy again.

As they arrive at their table, say goodbye to Yunho-hyung and distribute the drinks, the med student's focus is still undivided. Not caring about the friendly, handsome regular leaving, Jongin and Minseok complaining about them taking so long and Jongdae almost spilling his disgusting-looking rainbow cocktail all over his pastel blue sweater, he is only watching still-crestfallen Baekhyun.

He is of course expertly feigning happiness, but judging by how he avoids looking at his roommate and how that slight pallor still lingers on his cheeks, it's obvious that inside, he must be burning up with shame.

_Why the are you acting like me judging you for something like this is your absolute worst fear? Why does my opinion seem to matter so much to you? I don't get you at all... and as if I would ever judge or belittle you._

Also, of course he knew. He's not an idiot.

Looking at how he usually dresses up on Friday nights, as if deliberately too revealing, hell, even slutty, it was obvious enough even before seeing the bruises.

He always saw the hickeys. The subtle, whitish stains on his pants whenever it is his turn to take care of their laundry. The faint choke marks on his fragile, smooth neck that made his blood pressure fucking skyrocket...

But he could never despise Baekhyun for this. The only thing he really hates is seeing this sweet, incredible person sad because he thinks he actually could. And of course those assholes who get off from degrading and using someone like him. 

Remembering that night, those strips of pain, it still makes Chanyeol tremble with anger, down to the bone.

'Hey! Where is my chair?'

'Oh, yeah, about that... Sorry, some dude took it while Minseok was arguing with his friend that tried to hit on Jongdae' 

Again, Baekhyun looks so lost for a moment that Chanyeol gently grabs his waist and sits down to hoist him onto his lap, for once without hesitation.

The sheer, blinding happiness on his friend's pretty face, he figures, is worth blowing his nonchalant cover once in a while - and not overthinking about whether this is too much or not.

***

When Minseok and Jongdae come back to their table, cheeks pink, hair tousled and a bright red hickey glowing in the crook of the latter's neck, they are met with thunderous applause.

There are three reasons for this. One - they are all drunk like dogs... except for Chanyeol, of course. Two - it's nearly two in the morning, and by then, even sober human brains usually function just as well as a deflated beach ball. 

Three - it's Baekhyun who starts clapping and hooting, and he is absolutely _set_ on feeling the happiest he can tonight... and forget they ever met Seojun.

'Very funny' Minseok snorts, sinking contentedly into a vacant leather cushion at the table they just snatched from another group. He pulls Jongdae onto his lap, planting a sloppy, wet kiss on his neck. Dae lets out a tipsy giggle, smiling shyly, but a moment later proceeds to cup his boyfriend's face, kiss him and - by the look of it - stick his tongue straight down his throat. Minseok groans and grabs his butt, returning the kiss with no care for anyone around them.

'Jesus, stop that' Jongin scoffs, downing another shot. 

_Come on, they're so cute..._

The other dancer latches off his boyfriend's mouth with a loud, wet _pop_ , raising an eyebrow.

'Got a problem, mate?' he asks, grinning lazily, hands still on Dae's butt.

'Yeah, you're disgustingly happy, it annoys me. So stop'

'Or if you get off to us watching' the birthday boy butts in 'Just fuck already, kissing is boring'

Everyone bursts out laughing, even Jongin, who seems to be in quite the mood ever since Kyungsoo left the table.

'In your dreams' Minseok retorts, chugging the remainder of his beer - the one that just stood on the table for nearly half an hour while they were gone. He swallows with a grimace 'Ugh, this is crap...'

'Or' Jongdae chimes in with a heavy-lidded, uncharacteristically smug smile 'Come with us the next time and watch. We charge ten thousand bucks per ten minutes, right, Minseokie?'

Ever since their sexual adventures kickstarted - at least the ones he told Baekhyun about - Jongdae seems more and more comfortable in his skin every day, something the fashion major is genuinely happy to see.

'Ten thousand my ass' Minseok shakes his head, giving Jongdae a lazy kiss 'You're worth way more than that, baby'

Jongdae's face lights up at the word 'baby', his eyes nearly disappearing behind a huge smile. He slides off Minseok's lap and scoots close to him, hugging his arm and resting his head on Seok's shoulder.

'Sleepy?' the dance major inquires gently, getting a languid nod in response 'Okay, then, I think we're gonna head out, Dae gets awful headaches if he doesn't sleep enough after drinking'

_Oh noooo, this is so much fun! And we only had.... uh... a lot to drink._

'We should too' Chanyeol turns to his roommate, as if he just read his mind 'That workshop you want to attend starts at ten thirty tomor- uh... today'

_Who caaares?_ Baekhyun's mind chants, dizzy with booze and dopamine, but the look his friend gives him is so loving yet stern he just nods without thinking.

'But where's Kyungsoo?' Jongin asks, irritated 'We can't just leave him here'

'I'll find him' Baekhyun volunteers, bouncing up from his cushion so hard he loses his balance. Attentive as ever, Chanyeol catches his waist and hoists him back to his feet with another _look_ , one of those which make Baekhyun's heart beat faster, giddy with joy.

'Kay, people, I'll be back in a bit' he announces cheerfully 'I'll just say goodbye to Jinki-hyung real quick and pick Soo up'

And with that, he turns around and disappears in the sea of people swaying under the dark gold lights. He gets greetings and high-fives from everywhere around him, familiar people popping up constantly in a forest of faces. He ends up with two more shots downed in the next five minutes, one from Jinki-hyung and Yunho-hyung respectively.

'Bye-bye~ and thanks for the drinks, we had heaps of fun'

'Bye, Bacon, get home safe'

'G'night, Baekhyunie~ until next Friday'

The fashion major waves a very drunk goodbye to his seniors and turns around to leave, but as if on call, Kyungsoo appears, making his way towards the bathrooms in the back with someone Baekhyun can't see clearly.

_Oh, here you are.._.

He approaches the psychology major, who, as he notices him, turns to the guy beside him, says a few words and shrugs apologetically. The stranger maybe gestures okay - Baekhyun really can't tell because of the smoke and the dimmed lights -, then disappears in the back.

'Hey, Soo~' Baekhyun tumbles in front of his friend, grabbing his arm so as to not fall over 'These wretched _softies_ got tired, so Jongin sent me to collect you, we're going hooome~'

Kyungsoo's gaze jerks towards the back where the guy he was just talking to disappeared, then back to Baekhyun, unsure. He swallows, biting at his lower lip - as always when he is deep in thought.

'Sorry, but I can't join you now' he tells the fashion major, eyes constantly jumping back towards the exit 'It's sort of an emergency. Please, tell Jongin I'll be back at the dorms as soon as possible'

Baekhyun almost gives him a friendly little bump and cracks a joke about how _young people these days refer to hookups as emergencies_ , but something - maybe a sense of foreboding, but much rather the troubled look in Kyungsoo's eyes - silences him. Instead, he just nods.

'Alrighty~' he salutes playfully, sticking out his tongue 'Good luck handling your emergency, but by all means, please do not die'

The shell of a laugh, almost inaudible, escapes Kyungsoo's lips and he nods.

'I promise I won't' he tells Baekhyun, smiling a little, then waves goodbye and disappears in the crowd.

Baekhyun really can't pinpoint what it is, but a _feeling_ , an inexplicable discomfort poking around in the back of his barely functioning, boozed-up mind makes him follow Soo through the smoke, then under the glowing exit light to the chilly alleyway outside.

Outside, the psychology major ignores two kissing couples and goes straight after a short, sickly thin person... someone with pale, snowy blonde hair...

_Wait. I can't be-_

'Lu, wait' Kyungsoo calls out, reaching his arm out to grab the guy's sleeve 'What is this whole-'

The ghastly blonde turns around and Baekhyun's blood freezes solid.

'It's Seojun' the notoriously merciless, cold-faced minx tells Soo 'Don't call me that'

'What do you mean? Luhan, why would you...?'

But Baekhyun doesn't get to hear the rest. 

He darts back behind the exit door into the club, heart thumping wildly behind his ribcage. His whole body heating up like his very core was switched with a Bunsen burner, he leans onto the wall, breathing heavily.

His mind is regurgitating lumpy chunks of the same face and name, like a glitching computer program.

_Seojun. Seojun from Wired. Whose name isn't even Seojun. Seojun, Lu, **Luhan** , whoever he is, here in M&H. Kyungsoo knows him. And he knows Baekhyun. _

His stomach drops to the bottom of his belly with a sickening lurch, sirens of panic wailing through the fog on his brain. He almost loses his balance and falls, but his hands - seemingly automatically - reach out and steady him on the wall. The flailing vines of his thoughts straighten in a split second, wrapping around the same conclusion.

_They cannot know._

His friends cannot possibly find out about his double life. That part of him he detached from his everyday life, _himself_ so well, the Baekhyun who only exists on certain apps and in this shady club on Thursday nights, the things he does with the people he meets there.... they can't find out. Especially Chanyeol.

_Never Chanyeol._

As his friend's face resurfaces in his brain, his gestures, his little almost-smile, _his eyes,_ Baekhyun straightens his back and makes up his mind. He leaves towards the entrance, every crooked, tumbling step echoing with determination.

_Seojun doesn't exist. Neither does the Baekhyun he knows._

***

By the time Baekhyun turns up at the entrance, _alone_ , Jongin is cold, tired and disgustingly sober, every molecule in his body buzzing with annoyance.

'Where is Soo?' he snaps, so pissed he doesn't even care about being obvious right now.

'He told me he'll come back later' the small, skinny nuisance shrugs, all jolly and happy, _as if Kyungsoo didn't just ditch them._

'And that we shouldn't wait up' he adds, crushing the last morsel of Jongin's good mood and civility into fine dust.

_What the fuck is he doing?_ he rages inwardly, then opens his mouth, ready to voice his anger, but Minseok butts in, grinning.

'Did he chat someone up for a one night stand? I do freaking hope so, he deserves it'

He exchanges cheeky, conspiratory glances with Jongdae, _so damn happy about the idea of Soo fucking someone else_ it makes the beautiful dancer want to punch him in the face.

Baekhyun laughs again and suddenly, Jongin wants to punch him too, because _how dare he feel this fucking indifferent towards something so disgusting?_

'I'm not sure about that' he shrugs, irritatingly nonchalant 'It was a guy named... Luhan, I think? It looked pretty casual, in any case. Hey, Chanyeolie, do you-'

'What did you say?' Minseok interrupts him sharply and he stops dead in his tracks, along with Jongdae 'Who is he with?'

His face, so carefree a moment ago, is now beyond tense, brows furrowed and he is almost _growling_. Jongdae is deathly pale, his oh-so-pretty mouth agape.

'His name is Luhan, or something, they seemed to be friends' Baekhyun repeats, looking puzzled as to why this is such a big deal 'He called him Lu'

The couple freezes, their heads jerking towards the entrance in the same fraction of a second.

'Oh no' the literature major mutters, one small, sleek hand fluttering to his mouth.

'Is he in trouble?' Chanyeol speaks up, brows knotted in concern and he steps forward, ready to do anything the situation requires.

'Yes' Minseok replies curtly, then grabs Jongdae's hand 'Okay, we're going in. You guys go on ahead, we'll catch up with you'

'Okay' Baekhyun chirps and turns around to leave, morbidly uncaring about the entire ordeal, but Jongin stops him.

'No, we'll wait' he says, in tandem with Chanyeol.

So stay they do, Baekhyun fidgety, Chanyeol alarmed and Jongin tense like a mouse trap about to snap.

Mind running a mile a minute, he takes hurried, useless attempts at deciphering this whole thing nobody took the courtesy to fucking enlighten him about. He tries recalling every person in Kyungsoo's past he knows about, every face he sees regularly around him, hoping perhaps one of them is Luhan. Maybe a classmate? A relative? That childhood best friend he sometimes mentions?

_No, that was Tao._

...

_Oh, stop with the bullshit, you know full well it can only be a former flame..._

_...or a current one._

That prospect makes him go berserk with rage.

_Fuck this. Fuck that Luhan guy. Fuck Soo. Fuck being in love._

Jongin purses his lips, glaring at the entrance with narrowed, angry eyes, one feet nervously fluttering on the concrete. Baekhyun is busy exhausting Chanyeol, blabbing on about his usual bullshit, people around them come and go, but that damn door just won't budge.

_Where is he?_

When it finally does, the dance major's heart jumps right up into his throat, heat spiking on his cheeks, but it's just the couple, coming back empty-handed. Jongdae looks terrified and Minseok frustrated to the bone.

'They already left and he won't pick up the phone' he spits out and kicks a streetlight pole, fuming ' _Damn_ that bloody fucker'

'Who is he anyway?' Baekhyun inquires almost cheerfully as they leave towards the nearest subway stop, all bouncy steps and sparkly eyes. Jongin scowls.

'A fucking danger to society' Minseok scoffs 'Nah, just his shitty ex'

Jongin's entire body goes tense and he blurts out, without thinking:

'Old hookup?'

The dancer's heart sinks. He knows the answer will be _no,_ but still hopes for a _yes_ with all his might.

'If only' Jongdae shakes his head, his pretty manga eyes full of pain 'They dated for almost two years. Kyungsoo loved him dearly, but Luhan only hurt him in return. I never genuinely say this about anyone, but he really is an awful person'

'He's a sociopath' Minseok snorts.

'Oh cows, I'm sorry' Baekhyun grimaces, exhaling sharply 'But doesn't Kyungsoo hate him then? Why would they talk?'

Minseok rolls his eyes.

'Because Soo is a goddamn saint and he has a tendency to find himself attracted to the absolute biggest shitheads' he growls 'He still wanted to fix things and keep on picking that fucker up even after he brought another guy to his place and spat in his face when he turned up and demanded an explanation'

_'Jesus'_

'More like Satan...'

Baekhyun keeps asking and Minseok delivers the answers, each one a kick in Jongin's gut. When his fellow dancer recalls how Soo wrote _fucking_ poems for this shitty brat and recited them over candlelit dinners, he snaps.

_I can't listen to this crap anymore._

He stops and changes direction completely, leaving towards the outskirts of the club district.

'Hey, sexy, where are you going?' Baekhyun calls out.

'To Yixing's place' he replies curtly. He feels unable to talk, choking on what he just heard, the idea that Kyungsoo could still be in love with someone else.

'Hey, can you leave your key with me?' Minseok asks 'We'll wait for Soo until he comes back and talk to him'

'Sure, have at it' he fishes his key out of his back pocket and tosses it at Minseok, unable to look at any of them. 

He leaves them without saying goodbye.

He goes all the way to his friend's flat with his eyes cast on the ground, feeling like his ribcage is made of heavy iron, threatening to collapse with devastation.

***

'...that'd settle it, right, Hotshot?'

'Nope'

'Nope whaaat?'

'Nope, I don't think it would be a good idea to have a freaking pole dancing contest in the middle of the subway'

Baekhyun breaks into a fit of giggles, losing his balance. He nearly falls - if not for Chanyeol catching him - but that only makes him laugh even harder, blissfully uncaring about all the people staring at him from their seats.

'Holy fuck, just how much did he drink?'

The thoroughly wasted birthday boy zones out, barely catching a few word fragments from the other three's conversation. He settles for grabbing a pole in the middle of the subway and bouncing around it in dizzy circles, like a kid.

This was such a great night. Drinking and being with friends feel amazing enough by themselves, but combine the two and _abracadabra_ , you have something truly next-level.

_And Chanyeolie sat me down on his lap...._

Baekhyun's face is practically cracked open by a huge, toothy smile. He pirouettes around the pole and beams at no one in particular, giddy with joy. As he recalls the feeling of sitting on his friend's svelte, muscular thighs, being encircled by his strong arms, _his security,_ the skinny boy's heart balloons, sending a dizzy spell shooting up to his head. 

_It was so wonderful, I've never felt this way before..._

He is in the middle of conjuring up a plan to sleep in Yeolie's bed tonight when he notices a very familiar figure standing across from him by the door - and it all shatters in a split second.

_Her._

She is here, _meters away from him,_ larger than life. The image he believed to have erased from his mind completely in these seven months hits him, like a fist of ice-cold iron.

She stands there like the perfect, terrifying hybrid of a stork and a lynx. Her emaciated arms and twig-like legs, coupled with pale greyish-white, barely-there skin and aggressively protruding bones - on her back, her shoulders, her hips and her hands, her clawlike hands - make her strangely birdlike, starved and fragile. Everything else, the way she moves, stays still, _breathes_ , how bizarrely curvaceous she is for her weight, the absurd grace of her miniature waist, it all gives her a sort of feline aura...

...but none of these does it like her face, cold, arrogant and predatory.

To those around them, she must look like a thirteen year-old runaway hooker, revoltingly small and childish. To Baekhyun, she looks like a monster, the biggest and most daunting of them all.

The boy stops dead in his tracks, frozen to the bone. Fright cements him to the spot and sucks every happy thought out of his mind, leaving him with a nauseating mush of memories and feelings echoing in his head.

The yelling. The screeching. The kicks. The slaps. The bony, needle-like fingers yanking at his hair. The blinding neon lights in the bathroom. The cold water soaking his clothes, lacing his skin with purple. _The venom of her shrill, screaming words._

The all-swallowing pitch black of the closet. The unbearable heat of those piles clothes weighing him down, suffocating him. _The venom of her silence as his feeble little fists smash into the wooden door and he screams, begging her to let him out._

Baekhyun's teeth sink into his lower lip as he takes panicked, shallow breaths. By now, everyone is staring at him again, including Minseok, Jongdae and Chanyeol. Everyone, but her.

_We have one stop left. Don't look at me. Don't notice me, God, please!_

As if on call, she spots his reflection in the door and turns around, looking him dead in the eyes. Her cyanide glare is a kick into his stomach, sucking air out of his lungs and sending his drunk mind into a dizzy, vertigo-stricken tumble.

_Don't come here. Go away!_

She turns around, taking a lazy step towards him. Her every movement is calm and fluid, even somewhat smug.

Like a cat that just spotted a scared little mouse in the corner.

_Oh God, no, I'm begging you, don't, **fuck** , don't do this to me again!_

She just walks up to him, a low, guttural chuckle bubbling up from her throat. She raises a thin, sharply arched eyebrow, her thin, sickly red lips in a small, venomous smirk. Baekhyun just stands there, bound by fright, his mind regurgitating stuttering words of begging and primal, animalistic fear.

She stops in front of him and laughs again, smiling like a hungry snake. The sharp, cold, artificial sweetness of her perfume invades his lungs, heavy and suffocating.

'What are you staring at, boy? Do I turn you on?' she purrs, a cruel shine flashing in her cave-cold, black eyes 'That's really not right, you don't look a day over thirteen...'

Baekhyun steps back, petrified. His back meets the pole with a sickening _snap_ , but he doesn't even flinch.

_Don't tell me she-_

'But don't worry' she continues, slow and deliberate, savoring every word, every needle she stabs into his chest 'I'll take you for some cash, pop your cherry if you want to...'

She runs a hand down his thigh, bony fingers cold as stone.

'I'll give you a discount, little boys are always so...'

As she touches him, nausea stirs Baekhyun's stomach and make the world spin around him, a shaky circle of aluminium poles and white neon. Something inside him snaps and he stiffens, raising a hand.

'Shut up, whore!' he yells and pushes her, sending her body crashing into a pole. Her spine audibly cracks as she falls and hits her head on a plastic seat. For a moment, she is limp as a ragdoll.

Baekhyun's heart is racing, his every bone trembling with fury as he inhales and exhales, deep and fast.

'Now, now' she raises her head and props herself on one elbow, blood trickling from the corner of her grin, red-toothed and emotionless 'Don't be such a...'

But she cannot finish, because he opens his mouth again and all hell breaks loose.

'Get away from me, you psycho bitch!' he screams, unrestrained and still very drunk 'If you touch me again, I'll beat you bloody and unrecognizable, you fucking-'

_'Baekhyun!'_ Minseok yells, his voice cutting through the fog on his brain.

Then, a lot of things happen and fast. The subway stop's pale white sign flashes before his eyes and Minseok drags him off the train, just as the door snaps close behind them. The subway leaves, but all eyes remain stuck on him, until the train disappears in the dark. Baekhyun tumbles and falls flat on his butt, attracting the attention of everyone underground.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

The skinny boy closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths, trying to regain his sanity. He massages his forehead, frowning.

_She's gone. That bitch is gone. She can't hurt you anymore._

He stands up, sluggish and unsteady. His three friends' faces float back into his vision, puzzled and illuminated by painfully white neon lights. 

Chanyeol's hand slides on his back, his handsome face sick with worry.

'Are you okay?' he asks, quiet yet reassuring.

Baekhyun inhales deeply and looks up at him, finally collected again.

'Y...yeah, sure' he manages, still somewhat shaky 'This was really weird and I'm definitely way too drunk, let's go back to shower and sleep'

So off they go, up to the surface and into the street at the end of which campus is waiting. Minseok and Jongdae quickly shift back into their conversation, still about Kyungsoo judging by how quiet and tense they are.

Chanyeol remains silent, but his roommate knows he is focusing every little fiber of his attention on him. He is - as always - worried, puzzled and slightly alarmed, but now, there is a different feeling in the mix, one Baekhyun hasn't seen from him yet - disdain. He tries to shake it off, focus on something else, but he can't. It's still here, tugging at his core and whispering in his ears, even as the med student says good night to the couple and opens their door, letting Baekhyun in.

Of course, this isn't surprising at all. The fashion major has already noticed, not only Chanyeol's devotion to his mother and sisters, but the way it makes him act towards women - polite, gentle and chivalrous, overly sensitive to any perceived threat or disrespect towards them. 

As if it were his duty to protect and nurture them all...

_But she isn't a woman, for fuck's sake! She is a fucking psychopath, a monster._..

Anger bubbles up inside Baekhyun, boiling in his stomach like acid.

_He doesn't know what she's done to me._

He turns towards Chanyeol, staring at him.

'Hey' he speaks up 'Just a little something'

The bitterness in his voice makes Chanyeol turn around with a start, his eyes wide and puzzled.

***

As he closes the door behind his friend, Chanyeol frowns, still clueless as to what exactly is going on. 

_Who the hell is this Seojun?_

For now, however, no matter how hard he thinks and thinks, he only knows one thing about the sickly thin stranger: he managed to send Baekhyun into full-blown panic.

The cheerful birthday boy has been acting more than odd since the encounter. His sweet and bouncy demeanor suddenly got three times stronger and he laughed three times as loud at everything... as if he was trying to tune out whatever thoughts this Seojun planted into his ears.

This is not even remotely out of the ordinary, nonetheless. The med student knows his roommate well enough to observe how, whenever he gets anxious about something, his main and only strategy seems to be acting all happy - and pretending it doesn't exist.

But what happened on the subway was more than that. Baekhyun _snapped,_ no other way around it.

One moment, he was all jolly and drunk, ricocheting around a pole and going _weee I'm flying_ , then, all of a sudden, he froze and fell silent. When that woman walked over to him and teased him - probably high on something and even drunker than Baekhyun himself - he pushed her, no, _injured her_ and went completely ballistic.

Chanyeol couldn't believe his eyes. How could anyone do this to such a small and weak woman? And why was he so mad? His friend never even heard him swear before.

The med student is trying, _he really is_ , to put his contempt aside and figure out what the absolute hell is going on, but he is interrupted by the problem himself.

'Hey. Just a little something' he says, his voice so cold Chanyeol practically spins on his heels, eyes widening in a split second.

'Yes?'

Baekhyun takes a deep breath and steadies himself on the table, visibly still disoriented. Only his eyes are unmoving, scarily so, looking straight at his friend.

'You despise me now, don't you?' he asks, his voice hoarse yet rough, like never before. Chanyeol shakes his head, but he just laughs icily, dismissing him 'Come on, I get it. You adore your sisters and your mom, I see it even in how you look at other women. You're pissed about me pushing that one on the subway, aren't you?'

He lets out a dry chuckle, wetting his lips.

'You're a great person and I understand you, really... but what if I told you that ragged whore is actually my mother?'

_What?_

Chanyeol gasps, a hissing sound, his mouth agape. He stares at his friend in utter disbelief, unable to say a word, his large, warm eyes now wide as dinner plates.

'What?' he chokes out, barely audible and clears his throat, suddenly finding it hard to breathe.

'Crazy, right?' Baekhyun giggles, eerily sweet 'Yeah, that was my mom'

He carries on, blabbering like almost every drunk person does, probably half-unaware of how much he is exposing himself.

'Sounds weird, I know. I always imagined moms to be soft, warm and caring, and Gahee really is just a cruel, sadistic bitch. She didn't even like it when I called her mom. But okay, to be fair, I imagine she wasn't happy to have me at fourteen, out on the streets because she was already disowned. I have no idea why she didn't give me up of just strangle me while I was still a baby. Actually, I don't even know what she's doing here, she is supposed to be in Daegu... I mean at least that's where she finds a new thug every month after she wears the old one out or gets bored of him'

The med student just stands there, frozen into motionlessness. His otherwise so quick an sharp mind is simply unable to process this, _to understand how anyone can have a life like that..._

'But... but why did she try to flirt with you?' he manages, his voice choked by the shock 'She couldn't have been too high or drunk to recognize you....'

Baekhyun just chortles darkly, _as if this wasn't the first time._

'She wasn't' he explains, rolling his eyes 'She was just pretending, to rile me up, nothing more... she has always liked to hurt me. When I was a kid, she beat me up, put me under the cold shower or locked me inside the closet, and later, it became calling me a transvestite and letting his latest guy abuse me. Simple as that. A rare occasion indeed, but she was completely sober'

Chanyeol swallows, eyes still wide open in horror. Baekhyun goes on and on, his words, his memories a cold, filthy outpour of pent-up ditch water. 

'She was nearly always drunk. Not when she was out in the streets pickpocketing or using me as bait to beg, but as soon as we got home, she dropped me off to the ajumma who was taking care of the kids in the building and boom - off her tits on booze in less than an hour. She once told me she wasn't using because she needed her brain to manipulate and gain money, but drinking, that she could do. So she did. Even when the ajumma tried to take away her booze. She was kind, y'know, the old lady. The building was a sort of unofficial dumpsite for runaway moms and hookers and it was her who took care of us kids. She always smelled like spices because she spent all she had on food and cooked for us... I was six when we moved from there, I never ate such nice food again... And without the other kids, I was alone in the flat, it was awful. I didn't want to stay home, but sometimes, she forced me to, she locked me in the closet or the cupboard, even though I was terrified of the dark, I still am-'

He is talking steadily faster and faster, nearly losing his breath, but the word 'dark' makes him halt. He chokes on it and the rest of the sentence dies in his mouth. At the very next moment, something Chanyeol would never anticipate happens - a sob bubbles up in Baekhyun's throat and tears spill from behind the dam of his waterline.

'Shit' he hiccups and starts crying, his makeup leaving dirty, black trails on his pale cheeks 'I fucked up again, I always fuck up and drink too much and tell people about all this crap and lose face and make them feel disgusted with me, and it's so...'

The small, fragile boy cries, his shoulders trembling like empty twigs in winter night winds. He rambles on, shaky and incoherent, his small, soft hands gripping the edge of the table like his life depends on it.

'...so fucked up, I'm sorry for ruining it, sorry for being like this, I'm so sorry for being fucked up , for being trash, you must be so disgusted, especially after what Seo... Lu... Seojun told you, I'm-'

'Shh... no, stop that'

Chanyeol, filled to the rim with horror and pain, runs up to Baekhyun, to this beautiful, fragile miracle of a person and hugs him, holding his small body as he bawls into his chest like a baby, shaking wildly.

'Shhh... it's okay' he manages, his friend's every sob a knife into his chest.

Being the elder brother of three girls, he immediately flips into comforting mode. His body on autopilot, he does it all without thinking, he hugs, holds and caresses Baekhyun, whispers reassuring little nothings in his ears. His perpetual overthinking stops for a few minutes, his only focus is to stop the pain and make him happy again...

_...because this is unbearable._

'Okay, okay, let it all out' he murmurs, with one hand in his friend's soft, maroon hair, rubbing soothing circles into the back of his head 'Nobody is disgusted by you and nobody is here to hurt you. You're safe...'

Baekhyun takes a few ragged, wet breaths, trying to get himself together. He looks up at Chanyeol, his pale, heart-shaped face all feverish pink, inflamed red and dirty, powdery black, tears still running down his cheeks. He sniffles and glances at his roommate, his pretty eyes full of pain and desperation.

'Do...do you hate me now?' he stutters, broken 'Are you repulsed that I grew up in trash and that I'm still very much tr-'

'Don't say that' the med student cuts him off, his tone stern and - a rare occurrence - pained to the core 'No one hates you, especially not me, and I'm not disgusted at all, because you're _not_ trash. You couldn't be, even if you tried your hardest'

The words just escape his mouth and he doesn't even notice it, neither how soft he sounds.

'You are an incredible person, one of the best I know. I like you a lot'

Baekhyun's shiny, red-rimmed eyes widen and he gasps, soft, thin lips slightly ajar.

'Really?' he exhales weakly.

'Really' Chanyeol tells him with the firm, caring love of an older brother 'Now, let's go and get you ready for bed'

He takes the wheel and Baekhyun lets him, remaining silent in the process. The med student leads him to the bathroom and seats him on the edge of the tub, then picks up his makeup remover and cleans his face, attentive and thorough, missing nothing. Then, he soaks a towel in warm water and wipes his face and neck gently, making sure to freshen him up. Once in the room, he helps him out of his clothes and jewelry, then into a fresh set of pyjamas. He guides the skinny boy to his bed and helps him snuggle up under his covers, but not before giving him a glass of water and a fleeting, but affectionate pat on the head.

'Are you sure you don't need a shower?'

'Mmm-hmmm'

'Okay, then go to sleep now' Chanyeol tells his friend tenderly 'And get this nonsense out of your head'

With that, he gets up, ready to occupy the bathroom, but something stops him, namely a feeble, unsure tug at his hand.

'Yeolie' Baekhyun calls out to him, almost inaudible.

'Yes?'

'Could you...' he starts, but then trails off, visibly insecure 'Could you sleep here with me? Just for tonight'

Chanyeol does something extremely rare and nods, without thinking or over-analyzing the situation. 

He takes off his shoes, places them by the door and gets under Baekhyun's covers, ignoring his thirst, hunger and the beyond uncomfortable feeling of not bathing after a long day. His mind is still in tunnel vision, only seeing Baekhyun and focusing on his happiness and safety.

They sit in silence for a while, with the fashion major snuggled into his friend's arms, breathing slowly into his chest. Then, he speaks up in a weak murmur, exhausted and sleepy.

'Hey, Chanyeolie'

'Hm?'

'Are you working a morning shift at the airport?'

'Yes'

'Then you'll be gone by the time I wake up'

'Probably'

'In that case... could you just hold me like this until you go? And then, I'll wake up, wait until you come back, invite you to lunch and pretend that none of this ever happened'

He inhales, long and deep.

'Can we go on from tomorrow on like before and forget all of this?'

'Okay, but now, you need to sleep'

'Alrighty, good night~'

'Good night'

***

Baekhyun wakes up at half past ten the next morning, but only actually climbs out of bed nearly an hour later. 

By the time Chanyeol gets back from the airport, tired and worn-out, _but undeniably smoking hot in his uniform_ , his friend is awake and psyched about eavesdropping on Kyungsoo and his friends to find out what exactly happened with this infamous Luhan guy. It takes the med student nearly ten minutes of muffled reasoning and exasperated sighing to get him off the kitchen door and out to the food stalls to eat. They stay outside for a long time to enjoy the spring breeze and the unexpectedly strong sunlight, with Baekhyun blabbering on happily about the latest design idea he came up with during his morning shower. 

As promised, they both act like yesterday night never happened and he himself has nearly actually forgotten too, all of the pain having been washed out of his body and mind by denial.

Contrary to what he hopes, however, Chanyeol did not forget, nor wash away his pain. So much so, that he spent all night holding Baekhyun and silently staring at the ceiling, mind running a mile a minute.

Then, at three fifty-four in the morning, he did the only thing he could come up with to unveil some of this - he googled the club Wired.


End file.
